Thursday, April 2, 2009

Justin The Psycho

What my car looked like, but worse.

Have you ever dated a psycho? I did. I'm not sure how to categorize this experience, but let's put it in the "I wish I had never done that" side.

His name was Justin, and at the moment I can't remember his last name. (He was always known as Justin the psycho.) Anyway, he was a year older than me and for some reason I thought he was a cool guy. It wasn't until he surprised me with a creepy display of pictures he had secretly taken of me that I started to suspect he wasn't completely normal. (I should also note that those secret pictures were not kinky or anything, just me talking to my friends from far away or walking to my car. Creepy right?)

So, a day after prom, yes, I went with him - again, let's categorize this whole year as the year I was on drugs - I broke the news to him that we were over. I thought he handled it pretty well and then one day after my lacrosse game I saw a shattered picture of myself inside my car. (I guess he was hurting more than I thought.)

Anyway, the next day I told him to stay away from me and my car. (I mean, it was a 1990 volvo green station wagon - you don't mess with the Swedish.) Again, I thought he really heard me this time, but he struck again. While I was in Public Speaking class my athletic director, the distinguished black Mr. White, called me down to his office. When I got there he met me at the door and said, "Now, just calm down and follow me outside." Awaiting me, in my school's parking lot, was my beloved car wrapped completely in saran wrap. As I ran to my car I started screaming over and over again, "Show yourself you freaking psycho!" I don't know what I was planning on doing if Justin appeared, but I was by the gym and I was sure I could get my hands on a baseball bat or hockey stick.

Finally, Mr. White was able to calm me down and together we unwrapped my car. The next day I shoved Justin into the student council office, and with the help of my sister, tore him apart. I would like to say he stopped being a complete psycho, but unfortunately, he continued to do weird things. It wasn't until I painted his car fluorescent yellow and threw away his spark plugs did he call a truce. What can I say he pushed me to the edge.

So, as far as life experiences go I would have to say this one taught me that it's not really a good idea to date a psycho. I thought it was, but this experience taught me otherwise.


Em said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Em said...

I'd of punched him in the throat.

stephanielynn said...

Have I mentioned that I love these posts? Because I do.

And a display of secret pictures? Super creepy!

ashley said...

total weirdo. that is scary. what if he is reading this blog post??? i hope your address isn't available to the public. ha!