Monday, March 26, 2012

The Other MAC Store

So, the other day I decided to stop at the MAC not the hip and always overcrowded Mac store (does the Mac store just hire random people to be constantly in their store playing with their products?) but the other MAC store. You know - the one with the make-ups. Yes, you did read that correctly. Since being married I find myself adding random plurals to words. For example, before church I always put on my make-ups, before going to bed I check the internets and I make lots of monies at the restaurant. I'm not sure if this is a ridiculously cute by-product of being in love, or the fact that marriage has turned me into a moron.

Anyway, for those of you who haven't entered the MAC store let me explain the environment. First, as soon as you walk in you are greeted, with a slight look of disdain, from a man wearing a great deal of foundation and eye liner. Now, I know what you are thinking, "How come I'm getting the look of disdain?" I mean, a man is wearing make-up in public and he isn't even in drag. But, somehow in this world the she-male is totally acceptable. Outside - beat up. Inside, king of make-up.

Once, you get past the "greeting party" you are allowed to walk around the store and pretend you are completely interested in 40 different shades of lipstick and eye shadows entitled "Summer Day" and "Moss." When finally you reveal yourself as completely clueless another "make-up artist" will approach you and ask if they can help. I want to throw a warning out at this point because inevitably the person asking to help is usually covered in ridiculous amounts of make-up. It's like they get paid extra if they find small portions of their faces to advertise the products. For example, the girl helping me had bright blue mascara on, hot pink lip stick, four different shades on her eyes, foundation, cream of some kind, lip gloss and who knows what else?

I got to be honest, this kamikaze display of make-up doesn't give me a great deal of confidence going forward in listening to their recommendations. But, this is a world where I'm completely at a loss. So, for the next fifteen minutes I try to pretend I grew up playing with make-up, and shake my head profusely when they ask if I have "night" and "day" make-up - because who doesn't go for a more smokey look while they are going out? Oh wait, I don't live in Sex in the City.

Anyway, I'm happy to report that after an hour of being made up by my artist/clown, I stayed strong and didn't purchase the purple lipstick she insisted would be great for work and managed to get out of there.

So, remember guys wearing make-up - okay. A woman, wearing more make-up than Tammy Baker, and who tells you purples and oranges bring out your blue eyes, is not okay. Stay strong.