Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day and Cocaine

Have you ever had a moment where you agree with someone because you don't feel like getting in an argument or making a situation awkward? Well, today I had one of those moments. While standing in the check out line at the grocery store, a guy, who sort of smelled like my rancid laundry and a bar I used to go to in college, asked me if I had done anything special for Earth Day. I, trying to be nice, said, "No," and then in a moment of weakness asked, "Did you?" (What I really meant to say was, "One, who the crap cares about Earth Day? And two, does your participation in Earth Day include not showering?" - but I didn't. I should have, but I didn't.)

Anyway, he answered my question with another question and asked, "Remember, last year in July, they had a worldwide celebration? Did you participate in that?" What is this guy the national Earth Day inspector? Again, I said, "Um, no I don't remember that," and then he said, (with a weird wink, I might add) "Oh, I get it, you are one of those people who wants to legalize marijuana." HUH?

Okay, let's take a moment here and re-cap what is going on. I get behind a crazy man at the grocery store, who is only buying a bottle of peanuts. We establish I didn't celebrate Earth Day today or last year. Earth Day Gestapo then deduces that my lack of celebration indicates I smoke pot. Are we all following this?

Alrighty, back to the story. So, while I'm nervously laughing at his pot comment, he then says, "Hey, you might want marijuana, but I think we should legalize cocaine. You know why?" Heck, I've come this far in the conversation, why not see it I said, "No why?" He then responded with, "Because there would be less DUI's because alcohol and cocaine go together so well. You know?" (And here's where the moment happens) I answered, while enthusiastically shaking my head, "Yeah. We should totally legalize cocaine to curb DUI's." Really? Did I just say that? Why didn't I just say at the very beginning I planted a forsaken tree?

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