Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Real Application

I'm not typically political. Maybe it's because I was surrounded by so many raging liberals in college, or because my mom lived and died by Rush Limbaugh. At any rate, if you are a Republican or Democrat I think this story is good food for thought.

(This is one of my neighbors from back home)

Here is a creative approach to redistribution of wealth as offered in a newspaper...

Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "
Vote Obama, I need the money." I laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a "
Obama 08" tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference--just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he
did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Bi-Monthly, Semi-Unorganized, Santa Monica Biathlon

Today was the inauguration of the "Bi-monthly, semi-unorganized, Santa Monica distance undetermined, Kate and Dan biathlon."

Where did this come from? Last night, at about midnight, Dan and I started talking about entering a triathlon. After getting excited about a couple online, we decided to create our own the following day. (Well, minus the swimming - I don't do cold water.)

Anyway, we biked 17 miles and ran a little under four miles. I think it went well, I mean outside of, my butt is completely pulled and Dan is out cold on the "Man Chair."
Dan at the end of our ride.
The finish line of our biathlon. I look happy, but truly my butt was killing me.

If you would like to enter the next Kate and Dan biathlon please send a check for $100.00, your t-shirt size and credit card number to me. Spots will be filling up.

Friday, October 10, 2008

I Once Went to Mongolia

7 years ago I entered the MTC for one of the coolest chapters of my life. I would say more, but I think four journals, three photo albums and two binders of emails covers the story.

Therefore, enjoy the pictures...
A typical look for me in Mongolia. I know what you are thinking, missionary or angel of death?
We called him "Billy."
Out in the country side on the way to the mission office. Yeah, I know, camels. Pretty cool huh?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Silver Lining

Bad Parts of the Day:
  1. Fought with Dan over replacing the battery in his car
  2. Someone backed up into my car while pulling out of the parking lot
  3. Computer froze
  4. Argued with a customer service representative, named "Samantha," from India about my computer

Redeeming Part of the Day:

  1. Instead of saying, "Have a wonderful day," at the end of our discombobulated conversation, Samantha mistakenly said in a thick accent, "You are wonderful!"

...I am wonderful.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Open Season for Crazy

About twice a week I frequent the public library to check out a new book or a free DVD. What can I say, I have never been able to justify buying a book that I will only read once and then place on some obscure shelf for visitors to use as a barometer of my intelligence or lack there of. I suppose if I read more intellectual things than Twilight, the latest Nicholas Sparks romance or Harry Potter I would be inclined to buy more books, but since I'm apparently a cross between a raving teenie bopper and a repressed middle-aged woman the "return policy" of the library suits me just fine.

Anyway, now that I'm finished explaining my pathetic book collection, let's move on. The other night when I stopped at the library I noticed something: Public libraries are not only places to check out books, but also serve as public shelters for homeless people and open forums for crazies. Now, I know these aren't new observations, and I'm not going to pass judgment on these down and out people. But, I think the problem is that us "normal" people are taking advantage of the library's leniency with these troubled people. What do I mean? Well, for example, the other night I walked into the library and this is what I experienced. As I locked up my bike I noticed a rather normal looking man reading outside and eating some dinner. When I passed this man, who again, I thought was completely normal, he ripped something that made me wish I was not only deaf at that moment, but also without the ability to smell. From that encounter I entered the library and saw a woman, dare I say, pretty normal breast-feeding her child on a bench next to the check out desk. She wasn't covered and now I was wishing I didn't have the ability to see. After passing the doting mother, I turned the corner to see a man gold digging for something up his nose as he looked through the new books. I stared at this one for a while wondering if he would stop after a couple seconds. Unfortunately, that did not happen, and again I wanted to pour kerosene into my eyes. From the miner, I went to the DVD section (to get my new fix of Veronica Mars - freaking great show*) and while looking through the "V" section I heard a man yell, yep yell, "Quiet!" at two kids who were laughing in the periodical section. Just to test my theory I walked over to the desks to see who had yelled, and as suspected, he was a normal looking man.

So, I go back to my original observation: Public libraries have become not only shelters for homeless and mentally disturbed people, but apparently, also places where even normal people can act completely crazy.

I didn't read that in the fine print for my library card application, but I'm going to start exercising that right. I think tonight I might go down there with no pants on and read a book on astronomy. Why? Because I can, and no one will say anything.

* Refer back to me being a raving teenie bopper.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A Look Into the Hicks' Minds

Dan and I saw this sign in the elevator...

Dan wanted to ask our manager about a bet he made that didn't go so well.

I wanted to ask about my virginity and how I might be able to get it back.

She did ask about anything...

Monday, October 6, 2008

Just Saying

So, Dan and I talk about three or four times a day while he's at work. Sometimes we fill each other in on our exciting day. Sometimes he tells me gossip from work, and I rip on my out of shape players. Sometimes I tell him to leave work early and come home. (Okay that happens a lot). Other times he encourages me to shower before noon and go outside. And sometimes, while talking, Dan decides to put me on speaker phone while he responds to emails, reads lawyer stuff and shuffles papers. (That's as much as I understand about his job). In moments like these, I can't help but become like a little child. No, not meek and teachable...more childish and loud.

Anyway, the other day Dan put me on speaker phone and then proceeded to type away. I could hear the click of his keypad and knew he wasn't really listening to me. Instead, of saying something like, "Hey honey, will you listen to me?" I said, and quite loudly, "I want to make love to youuuu!" As soon as I got "you" out the phone went dead. Apparently, not only did my husband hear my proclamation, but so did an unsuspecting co-worker who walked in at the exact right moment.

What can I say? I was feelin' the love.