Wednesday, July 16, 2014

My Short Excuse

Where have I been you ask?  Well, you see a few years ago I was in the throes of infertility with no idea what was wrong with me.  Doctors tried drugs, we tried drugs (not recreational, of course), prayers and sacrifices were offered and nothing.  And then finally, I found out I had a tumor.  Yep, I got a tumor in my brain.  (Not a lot of people can claim that one...or want to claim that one.)

So, once they found the tumor, I was given a little magic pill, my body stopped being a baby hating robot and produced a beautiful girl.  Does that answer your question? Not at all?!  Fine, let me continue.  So, a few months back we had the crazy idea of trying to procreate again.  (No, I won't go into the details, but if you want to see them I have this great site called "Youtube.")  Anyway, we thought because it had taken us 3 1/2 years to get pregnant the first time, surely it would take a few months.  Nope.  Not even a month.  So, I got pregnant.  Was I expecting this?  Well, let's just say I rode 111 miles one day, and the next I was like, "Hmmm...I feel strangely tired."  Oh, I was 6 weeks pregnant.  Silly Kate.  Yep, you read that right, I rode in a century in San Diego, which was pretty much the hardest thing I've ever done in a physical sense...and not because I was making a baby while I was pumping away.  This century was ridiculous.  Sure, I should have read a little more detail about the course, but why spoil the surprise of turning every corner to find another forsaken hill?  Again, silly Kate.

And to make matters worse, I sort of suck at reading maps.  Well, that's not entirely true, I suck at caring about maps. I think there's a severe difference in the two.  For example, some people always carry maps.  They plot out courses, double check to see they are on the right road and look at them as if they are Christopher Columbus and are about to set sail to conquer the world.  (My husband)  I'm on the other side of the spectrum.  Sure, maps are handy - I'll give you that, but what a waste of time.  Why carry one, when you can just rely on your inner sense of direction...or follow a pack of cyclists, who appear they know where they are going?

So, anyway I ended up following some cyclists, who actually had no idea where they were going and ended up adding 11 miles to my ride and about 1,000 feet in climbing.  You know how annoying it is when you think all you've got is twenty miles of downhill, only to find yourself insanely off course and traveling up another hill?  No? Well, let me see if I can state it clearly - it sucks.

Anyway, completed the race, came home, felt weird, went to Disneyland and my friend, who will remain nameless in order to protect her lack of social media presence, handed me a pregnancy test and told me to find out.  Unfortunately, my college did not prepare me to correctly read a complicated pregnancy test, so me and another college graduate read it incorrectly.  Fortunately, the next day I studied up on how to read, and determined that, not only was a raging idiot, but I was in fact prego.

So, folks that's the "short answer." I haven't written because I'm pregnant.  Not with a baby, but with an alien, who makes me gag when I brush my teeth, throw up if I haven't eaten exactly when it wants to, and who wakes me up three to four times a night just to release 6-7 gallons of liquid.

At least the good news is I get to blog about being pregnant again!  Yes.  Readership is going to be awesome.