So, as I mentioned I just found out that I'm having a boy. If I'm honest I have some fears of having a boy. I'm going to list them and you, I mean Mom and maybe one other reader, who might have forgiven me for past entries, can tell me if I'm being crazy:
- He'll pee all over me. I mean, all the time. What can I say? I'm slightly afraid of the boy hose. I feel like that thing has a mind of its own.
- I will spend the next 12 years stepping on razor sharp legos in the middle of the night.
- Everything from a stick, to a roll of wrapping paper will become a sword that he will wield like a Nordic Viking. I sort of did this as a kid and now I'm regretting all those times I attacked my mom while she was making dinner. Karma.
- He will spend the rest of his life trying to marry a woman like me and fail miserably. Oh wait, that's not my fear. I fear he'll bring home some floozy (do people still use that word?) and say, "Mom she reminded me so much of you," and I'll be utterly offended.
- He will grow up to be that guy who takes his shirt off any chance he gets. I went to school with this guy named Louis Cohen who, as soon as the bell rang, would walk out to the parking lot (snow, rain, hail, wind...didn't matter) and would proceed to take his shirt off. Did he have a good body? Does that even matter?
- I'll have to buy video games for him. I hate video games. Can't I just show him videos of real wars and save some money?
- He'll come to me to talk about "changes" taking place in him...and I'll try to not giggle like a little girl.
- He'll go to UNC,, University of Maryland or Virginia...and love it. Ew.
- He'll look like his father. Just kidding. Or am I? My husband doesn't read this, so I can say whatever I want. He can and will have his father's legs...and then my Scandinavian genes must take over.
- Again, back to the girlfriends. Please son, date someone I won't hate.