Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Misled Through A Roller Coaster

The other day I road a roller coaster at Disneyland and it got me thinking.  Why do we do this - this roller coaster thing?  I mean seriously.  The name alone is a complete lie.  First, I hear "roller" and think, oh I know, like rolling hills.  Those are delightful to see from afar, or drive along at a calm pace in a car, or frolic through as I sing some epic ballad. nice and gentle.  And then there's the terribly chosen word of "coaster."  Coaster.  Or coasting.  I might be wrong here but I don't think anyone has ever described an out of control car by saying, "Yes, I saw it.  It came coasting through the intersection and hit a horse and carriage, then hit a building and finally six people, who were all killed on impact, and then continued down the road.  Yes, it was just coasting out of control."  Coasting.  Such a stupid word.  You know what coasts?  Boats in the water.  Strollers down sidewalks.  Not metal trains traveling at the speed of light.

And lastly, who decided to design these things?  Did someone survive a car crash and think, "You know, that abrupt speed change and rolling around was pretty fun.  I wonder if I could construct something to simulate that feeling of chancing death over and over again?"  And how did they get someone to go on it first?  Upside down?  "George, it's just going to coast through some nice rolling hills, ever so slightly drop down and then fight to get back up, and then coast around that circle there and back you'll be.  Easy Peezy!"  Liars.  All of them.

No comments: