Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Babies are Weird

I've said it before, or maybe I haven't...anyway, babies are weird.  Honestly weird.  My baby, though I love her with every bone in my body, can be slightly weird.  Here's why:

1. When I feed her (from my ta-tas) she likes to either slap me repeatedly on my chest, or bring her feet up to my mouth. Again, I'm giving life saving subsistence to this child and she is beating me.  Weird.

2. My baby is Wolverine.  Honestly, she'll get a scratch or a bump while playing and within ten minutes it's completely gone.  Her skin is literally healing itself at an abnormal rate.  I wear a pair of goggles swimming one night and two weeks later people are asking me who pressed cookie cutters around my eyes.  Weird.

3. Feeding herself real food is dumb.  Eating ANYTHING else off the ground, at the playground or from a bag of trash is totally acceptable.  Weird.

I could think of more but I'm afraid her Wolverine like claws are going to find their way up my nose again.

1 comment:

SkippyMom said...

#3 - For the win. You are officially a Mom.

I know, you think the whole "birth certificate" thing earns you that distinction. Naw. You know you're officially a Mom when watch your kid eat dirt and someone else's discarded French fry. And? Maybe you hang her up by her feet while you speed dial Poison Control.

I trust you didnt' do that? Right? hee

I actually fired one pediatrician. My one and only "firing" of a doctor. While nursing my second child his first two teeth came in, not much, but ::whispering:: he bit a little. It hurt. When I asked the doctor what to do he told me to scream as loud as I could at my lactating offspring to scare him from ever doing it again.


Yeah, I had a baby in 1990, and the doctor was already 87 years old. Bad advice. BAD. So, yes. I get the wounding. It's what they do. hee

Off to click the Hick.