Thursday, August 8, 2013
Pot or Swimming?
Okay, now before you get all swimming is great for your body and blah, blah, blah let's discuss why no one should be swimming for exercise:
It's not easy. You know all those idiots, who do it really fast in the Olympics and make it look really fun? Well, they are lying to you America. Lying. I don't know if you know this, but humans can't breathe under water and you know what you need when you are exercising? AIR! You know where and when it's hard to find air? WHILE THRASHING AROUND IN A POOL TRYING NOT TO DIE.
It's boring. Seriously, boring. You know why Michael Phelps starting using pot after the Olympics? Because his mind was already so wasted from going back and forth, and back and forth in a pool. Honestly, being stoned must have seemed like another day at practice. And if that's not enough did you ever watch Ryan Lochte's show on E!? The guy is a two levels above a coma patient. He's a moron. Seriously, I would have liked to known the Ryan Lochte before swimming - I bet he was a sharp guy.
The pool. The pool. I know they contain chemicals that magically protect you from other people's urine, snot, spit and whatever bodily fluids, but still. Still. They are floating in there, I'm running that crap in and out of my mouth...I can't go on. It's just...no, let's just leave it at...the pool.
So, I'm thinking of just taking up pot. If it's good enough for Michael Phelps...
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