Friday, August 2, 2013

Help CPS! Monkeys Are Being Abused!

As I've mentioned before children's books baffle me.  This morning I was reading "Five Little Monkeys."  For those of you who actually get to read intelligent material let me break this book down.  It basically consists of five monkeys jumping on a bed, falling off, bumping their head and then their negligent mother calling the doctor, who responds with, "Tell them no more monkeys should jump on the bed."  And then, as if the doctor's instructions weren't clear enough, the remaining monkeys continue to jump on the bed and one by one fall off, bump their head, a call is made and the same "medical advice" is given.

Where to begin?  Um, how come this mother isn't being taken away and the monkeys given to the CPS?  Five monkeys in one night fall and become injured.  How do we know they were jumping on the bed?  Is this a cover for some massive abuse?  And shame on the doctor.  A female monkey has just called you on five separate occasions to tell you another injury has occurred and all you can say is, "Hey tell them to stop."  Gee, thanks doctor.  Is that your medical opinion or something you looked up on  And lastly, the fantastic parenting continues when after all five have fallen, received some medical bandages on top of their heads and fallen asleep, the mother exclaims, "Thank Goodness" and goes to bed as well.  What's wrong with this picture? Um, all five monkeys might have concussions and you are just going to let them sleep it off?  No waking them up every hour?

I'm appalled.  What is my baby to learn from this?  You can keep falling but the doctor ain't helping you?  Monkey injuries aren't that serious?  Come on children books help me out here!

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