I Won't Do It

Oh the woes of suburbia...so, I'll admit, prior to moving to Irvine I didn't recycle.  Go ahead catch your breath.  Now rethink your decision to read this.  Now finish pacing.  Alright, welcome back, thanks for sticking with me. 

I know, I know, recycling is going to save our planet, and because of it, my child will live twenty extra years, unicorns will finally be allowed to prance around the world and rainbows will wake us up each morning, but I'm just not into it.  There I said it.  Unfortunately, the sanitation company down in these parts, doesn't care how I feel on the matter because they are forcing me to organize my trash.  Take two weeks ago as an example:  I set out my bins, placed a cardboard box in the bin marked "trash" because that's what it was - trash - and then came home to find the box on the ground and my bins empty.  Apparently, I didn't put the box in the right bin.  The next week I put the box in the "recycling bin," but added three pieces of floorboards, which were not taken another week when I placed them in the trash bin.  Yes, you read that right, floorboards - made of wood.  Came home and guess what?  Box was gone, but the floorboards were on the ground - and quite aggressively, I might add. 

So, here's what I'm gathering about the Irvine sanitation company: 1. They are Recycling Nazis.  2. They are judgers.  (Those floorboards should have spelled out: "You are a terrible person" on the ground.) 3. They are trying to passive aggressively teach me something about...about...guessing what the right answer is!? 

So, listen up Irvine Sanitation Company, you can go through my trash all you want because if you do you are going to find bottles, upon bottles, and cans of who knows what in my trash.  Yeah, my trash!  NOT my recycling!  And then in recycling, you might just find those floorboards in there every single week, until you are so sick of seeing them, that you will FINALLY just take the damn things!  HA!