Things That Go Bump In The Night

I got to say baby monitors are an amazing invention.  Honestly, they have literally made it acceptable to shut your child into a closet or a trunk in the basement because as long as you can hear them breathing all is okay in the world.  (Don't worry I haven't done the basement thing, but the closet thing...)

So, a few weeks ago, we finally decided waking up every 40 minutes to check on our daughter, who sleeps down the hall, was getting slightly ridiculous.  So, we purchased a baby monitor.  When we first turned the thing on, I'll admit, I was sort of hoping we were going to hear our next door neighbors having a fight, or someone having a secret affair.  (I don't know why I think a baby monitor has special powers, but there's just something about those frequency dials, you have to adjust to get a clear signal, that makes you feel like if could just find the right combination a whole new world could be open to you....well, a world of spying and voyeurism.  Did I mention I'm home alone a lot?)

Anyway, I'm currently not listening to my neighbors, but I have noticed at night they take a lot of trash out, and in their mail they once received...kidding...

So, yes, I love the baby monitor.  I love listening to my baby sigh, as she is putting herself to sleep, and the ridiculous amounts of farting that occurs when she is waking up.  But, as great as all of this is, I'll tell you one thing I hate about the monitor:  I hate the strange sounds it picks up.  You parents know what I'm talking about.  You'll be laying in bed, listening to her heavy breathing, when all of the sudden you'll hear this crackle or rustle.  And as you lay there trying to explain it away, and silently waiting for it to happen again, the thoughts begin...You parents know what I'm talking about...ALL OF THE SUDDEN YOU ARE CONVINCED SOMEONE IS IN HER ROOM.  There, I said it!  Yes, the baby monitor is making me nuts.  I've gone from a normal, sound sleeper, to a paranoid freak, who is convinced each night someone is standing in my daughter's room.  And yet, the worst part about it, as I think about it, is I STAY IN BED LISTENING!  I DON'T EVEN GET UP AND SEE IF, IN FACT, SHE IS BEING ABDUCTED.  What kind of parent am I?

So, listen baby monitor just tell me my daughter is breathing and that I'm not living next to terrorists.  That's all I'm asking for.