Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Cut and Then Paste
Okay, I'll admit I enjoy watching hunched over Liam Neeson kick the crap out of hundreds of bad guys (Honestly, there were hundreds of dudes he killed. After a while, the husband turned to me and said, "I got to be honest, if I just saw this guy kill six of my friends, all while dodging point blank bullets, I would probably run. Just saying.") I do love the absolute absurdity of these action movies. One, why do seven guys wait for the hero to kill one guy before they attack? Seriously, think about it Adidas wearing, European mercenary, while your friend is having his neck snapped, pull the trigger. Bam, the guy is down. It's that easy. Stop waiting for Jackie Chan to finish flipping off the wall before you decide to pick up your knife and lunge at him.
Second of all, people, no matter how tough you think you are, can not get up after falling three stories ON YOUR BACK and then continue fighting. It's impossible. Truly impossible. You are now paralyzed and if you aren't, I guarantee the log of wood, your nemesis just picked up and nailed you in the back with, has just finished the last piece of spine you did have. And don't even get me started on the lack of blood. You just got hit in the face with a vase, three fists and then round housed kicked. I'm no UFC specialist, but I'm guessing one should have at least a slight amount of blood protruding from their face.
Lastly, Taken 2, we really could have used a better title. I know, I know, the writer just copied the top title from the last script and threw a 2 on there so he remembered to grab the right one on the day of shooting, but come on. 2. That's it? At least give me a semicolon. I love me some semicolon. Oh, the possibilities of semicolon. Taken 2 SEMICOLON Where focusing gets Found. Taken 2 SEMICOLON Give it back. Taken 2: Lay off Albania. Something...