1 Box of Ants To Go

As you can see from the picture we've been having a slight problem with ants in the new place.  (And when I say "slight" I actually mean I feel like they are crawling all over me as I write this.)  When I called our landlord about the problem she told me two things:  1. When her mother lived there they never had a problem with ants.  Really?  Never?  No ants whatsoever?  Hmmmm.  Strange how when I went to drop off some hideous window cornices at her mother's house and asked, while doing my worst miming of an ant, (Sweet Mary has most likely lived in this country close to twenty years and still doesn't speak English - because that makes sense...) she responded, immediately, might I add, with a vigorous shake of her head, "Oh, namla."  ("Ant" in Arabic...oh I'm sorry, I meant Persian.) AND then she said, as clear as day, "Orkin."  (Oh, you mean Orkin the PEST control company!?)  So, let's just review...according to the landlord ants never existed in my home, but Mary, who doesn't speak English, was able to immediately confirm the ants existence through me walking my fingers across my hand and making a grimace.  Rigghttt.

And the second thing my landlord said was, and this is my favorite, "You might have brought the ants with you from LA because one time we moved from LA and then our place had ants."  I honestly don't even know where to begin to make fun of this statement. Again, the statement: I brought ants with me from LA.  Oh that's right...I do remember packing up my glassware and plates and then saying, "Hey husband do we have a box big enough for all these guys?"  And the husband asked, "What guys?"  And then I said, while pointing to 400 million ants, "Silly, these guys!"  Oh, how we laughed as we watched the ants march into the box, give us the thumbs up sign, close the box, tape it up and mark it "Special Friends."  What a great day!

Listen landlord I might not come from some land that was conquered around 600 A.D., but I'm not an idiot.