Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Attention: Tori Spelling Can't Buy Another Purse!

Each morning as I watch my GMA I realize two things: 1. I think George Stephanopoulos hates his job and his co-workers.  Honestly, I love watching him after they get discussing the results of Dancing with The Stars.  Yesterday, I could literally see him suppressing every ounce of rage in his 4"11 body as they were mourning the recent voting off of Snookie.

And 2. There's a lot of crap that gets reported as "news."  For example, this morning right after reporting about a murder case of a woman, who drowned in a bath tub, GMA did a groundbreaking report on the show The Walking Dead.  I assume this random piece was a lame attempt at reporting some Halloween-ish, but in the end all that was said was:  A lot of people are liking this show about zombies.  Hmmm.  What else GMA?  Are a lot of people eating dinner too?  Do Asian people enjoy rice?  Does the sun warm the earth?  Tell me more!

However, I can forgive the thirty second salute to The Walking Dead, but what I can't  forgive is the piece they ran, after a few teasers and promos at the beginning of the show, about Tori Spelling's new financial woes.  According to GMA, and forgive me if I'm reporting old news to you savvy readers, but Tori Spelling, of 90210, Lifetime Channel greats' like "Mind Over Murder" and "Way Downtown," is being forced to financially cut back.  No more new purses, which apparently, she hasn't purchased in 3 years, no more extravagant birthday parties and...and...and this was the most shocking reveal of all - no vasectomy for her husband.  What?!  What?  Geez Obamacare!  Thanks Afghanistan!  Way to go housing market and your inflated loans. What have you done!?  I can't believe a man, who has been on TV, had his own show and married a TV heiress, can't medically protect himself from having more children!  What do you expect him to do?  Buy....I can't even say the word. 

Thank you GMA for highlighting the real face of our tightening economy and country.  I just wish at the end of the piece they had indicated on where to make donations, a help line I could call, a pledge I could make...something.

And to you Tori Spelling.  I know high school was tough. I mean you almost didn't graduate because of that drunken night, but I want you to know I stood with your fellow students and chanted, "Donna Martin Graduate, Donna Martin Graduate," until I couldn't say it any longer and I will keep being your champion until another channel gives you another reality show, or you make another terrible TV movie or when your mom dies and leaves you some more millions to blow.  Chin up T...another purse is around the corner.

1 comment:

Heather said...

Hilarious. And now I am missing 90210.