Thursday, October 3, 2013

Let's Keep the Family Off The Window

For those of you, who faithfully read this blog (I'm talking about you, husband) yesterday, I mentioned I had a few thoughts while driving the mind numbing drive from Salt Lake City to Irvine.

Here's thought #2:

What's with "Family Decals" on cars?  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones....wait, before I go any farther let me just apologize to any of you who have these decals on your cars.  They are totally cool and a great keepsake of your family.  Alright, where was I?  Ah, yes, you know the stickers that are usually plastered on some giant van or SUV showing the whole family and sometimes pets?  Well, I find them weird.  Here's why:  (And mind you these are what I came up with while driving behind an SUV, sporting a family sticker portrait, going 65 in the left lane.)

1.  Somehow I feel like these stickers aren't telling the whole story.  Sure all the kids seem to be smiling and Mom and Dad seem perfectly content, but what's really going on?  I just wish someone would be honest.  I could support a lame sticker family portrait with an additional sticker description placed underneath that read: "We seem happy, but we have three mortgages on our house, my husband and I sleep in different rooms, our son doesn't know he's adopted and I was going to place a sticker of our dog, but he was accidentally run over by the mailman."  Two honks and a wave to you!  Thanks for the update!

2. What happens when you have another kid?  Is there a website you can order just one stick figure girl or boy from?  Do you have to buy an entirely new set?  What if your husband loses a leg?  Do you scratch off part of the sticker?  And honestly, explain to me sticker divorce.  Does Dad go all together?  Do you put him in the corner with a mistress sticker?

3. Adding names shouldn't be allowed underneath the stick figures or faces.  You know why?  Because now, instead of yelling hey, "Suburban, let's move already!"  I'm now yelling, "Hey Tom, why don't you and your ugly wife, Sue, and three kids, Molly, Ryan and Elliot, move over to the appropriate lane for your ridiculous lack of speed understanding!"

Think I'm wrong about these stickers?  Hit that Mommy Icon and tell her all your problems with this post!


SkippyMom said...

My husband hates these things with a passion.

For Christmas we bought him a comparable sticker that has a Tyranasoruous Rex [no, I am not looking up the spelling - it's the one with the sh*tty small arms] eating the family - and the caption reads "Your family was delicious."

You can find it on Pinterest or the net.

It isn't on our car, but made him laugh like heck.

Laura said...

This post made me laugh. I love your thoughts on this. I never understood the stickers with the letters of different places...

Lynn said...

I'm with you. Lame. Lame. Lame. Although I did see one that made me laugh... the "ass family... jack, smart, kiss and dumb."

And welcome to the OC in the CA. Lots of lameness here to navigate. Good luck!

xo lynn