This Kid Is Paying For Itself

I swear all my posts won't be about being pregnant...but...

So, I got to admit being pregnant has been awesome when it comes to waiting tables. First, I'm really not at that point where I'm exactly busting out. So, there are still moments when people wonder if I've just gained some weight or if I'm caring a little nugget. So, I wait to see if I'm going to need to use the "baby announcement." What do I mean? Well, picture a mean old lady, who won't look you in the eye when she orders and acts like you are bothering her every time you come to the table. Now, picture her after you've dropped the,"Oh, and thanks for coming in (while touching your protruding stomach and looking lovingly down at the seed you are growing)...have a great day." All of the sudden, the meanness just falls away and the woman can't help but ask, "Excuse me, but are you expecting?" And then, I turn to the mean old woman, and with a innocent smile, say, "Why yes, I am," and then like magic, she can't help herself. Instantly, I'm transformed from a lowly servant to a budding mother. And what happens next? Well, the 15% that was going to be begrudgingly left all of the sudden becomes more like a 25% tip of happiness and well wishes. It's a beautiful thing.

Second of all, my co-workers, who I love, don't fully understand my capabilities and limitations of being pregnant. (I'm not sure where these misconceptions came from, but I haven't gotten around to informing them.) For example, I hate busing tables, sweeping after moronic mothers allow their children to tear their food into tiny pieces instead of eating them, running food and getting and polishing glassware. Now that I'm pregnant I just have to look at a messy table and say, "I want to, but the doctor..." Again, I had no idea how magical pregnancy could be.

So, if you are out there, waiting tables and wanting to improve your work environment and tips think about having a kid. It literally pays for itself.