Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Ketchup and Cake Anyone?

I'll admit as a server, I've dropped a few plates and glasses during my illustrious career.  However, there's only been two times where I've actually dropped food on a customer.  Am I proud of this fact?  Absolutely.  I mean, I can't even begin to count the amount of plates I have carried to tables.  So, if two customers walked out a little dirtier I count that as a victory.  So, as I'm sure you are dying to hear, what were those experiences.  Well, here's some of my finer moments:

1. Picture a party of 18 people.  They have come to our little establishment to celebrate the retirement of one of their co-workers.  Prior to lunch, one of the party members pulled me aside and showed me a special cake they had prepared for this day.  They then informed me that they wanted the restaurant to cut the cake up in small pieces and then present the cake at a particular time.  This didn't sound overly complicated and I took the cake into the bakery area.  Fast forward one hour and I'm given the "nod" to bring the cake out.  So, I have the pastry chef cut the cake up into individual pieces, recruit my co-workers to help me deliver the pieces and head out into the main dining room.  I'm leading the procession, and as the party sees me with the cake, I start to walk in an exaggerated ceremonial way.  (If that makes any sense.  Picture Simba being presented during Lion King - that's what I was going for.)  Anyway, as I go to present the cake to the guest of honor, I somehow trip up and manage to shot put the cake right onto her arm.  Yep, picture someone saying, "Good job" while hitting your arm and that's what I did with the cake.  "Hey, congrats on retiring, here's a cake on your arm to show our appreciation."  I guess it wouldn't have been that bad if one, she wasn't the guest of honor, two, she wasn't wearing a silk shirt that held the icing in place and, three, if my co-workers behind me didn't all erupt into laughter.  The only fortunate part was that parties over 6 get a guaranteed 18% gratuity added to their check.  So, thanks folks and enjoy the cake.

2. This one actually happened last week and was probably the worst thing I've ever done to someone.  Picture, a pregnant woman (that's me) carrying three tubs of ketchup down three stairs.  As I hit the third stair the top ketchup tub falls off and hits the ground.  Now, here's where it gets bad.  As the ketchup tub hits the ground it instantly explodes, and like a torpedo, immediately shoots out onto an innocent woman sitting there buying coffee.  If I didn't know it was ketchup I would have thought this woman was shot from behind.  Ketchup was all over her dress, up her legs, on her back, in her hair and on her purse.  (I'm actually completely convinced that she is still finding ketchup in parts of her body she didn't know existed.)  I, with no other recourse than to start crying, grabbed my protruding stomach hoping she would feel some sympathy for my unborn child, but she wasn't feeling very forgiving.  As I attempted to wipe off the ketchup she kept muttering things like, "I knew I shouldn't have worn this new dress," "Is this a PETA thing?" "Are you retarded?" "I was just getting cookies for my friends..."  Needless to say I replied with, "Huh, new dress?  Sorrrryy," "I hate PETA and animals of all kinds" "Yes, I am retarded," and "Our cookies are good..."  She finally left and I considered killing myself through drowning in ketchup, but I decided my unborn daughter deserved better. 


So, there you have it.  TWO moments.  Well, there was the time I drenched a guy's iPhone in grapefruit juice, but who wants to hear more stories?

91 comments:

SkippyMom said...

The retarded comment was uncalled for, but you are going to find the pregnancy thing isn't going to work in extreme instances like this, especially if you did it to someone who has been pregnant themselves [they've been there, done that, got the kid to prove it ain't no big thing to be pregnant] or they don't have kids and could care less about your little baby bump. Nice try tho'. heehee

I only dropped food on customers once in my waitressing career and funnily enough I was 9 months pregnant carrying a large try with 4 plates of steaming Mexican food. I am not known for my balance anyway, but all my pregnancy weight settled right in my belly so I was a bit unbalanced when pregnant. When I came out of the kitchen I lost my balance and all 4 plates slid down the tray onto 3 of the patrons. Thank goodness I didn't burn anyone. The kitchen was quick to remake their meals and they were a nice group of two couples who said "Accidents happen" wouldn't let us comp the food, pay for cleaning but graciously accepted a round of drinks after leaving me a nice tip. That was 24 years ago and I doubt people would be so kind now, but thank goodness I never did it again, pregnant or not.

I worked through all 4 of my pregnancies and I have to say out of all of them waitressing was the best because it kept me in great shape for delivery. When people say that the better shape you are in the easier labor you have they aren't kidding. I didn't believe it, but subsequent births and desks jobs proved it to be true. I would much rather waitress while pregnant than sit behind a desk or not work at all. It's a win-win.

Good luck. And keep touching your magic tummy. Perhaps it will work in some instance. heehee

P. Oliver DeFleur said...

The other day, the wife and I went out to eat at the Olive Garden (because we are classy like that) and it was our waitress's first night (serving food, or on earth or...) and she was really nervous and spilled an entire pitcher of ice water on my crotch. She burst into tears and started crying. The wife started laughing (at me) and I began to (wait for it) APOLOGIZE. Something about girls crying just makes me instantly apologize no matter what. The wife uses this against me I swear. I really did feel bad for our waitress. I still left her a large tip. She probably dumps the water on everyone now. Don't feel too bad about the ketchup hag. It probably would have been a lot more awkward for you if she had started apologizing and said, "Are YOU going to be okay?" The wife just showed me the blog again. Sorry I've been away for awhile. Congratulations on the nugget. We are really happy for you and we secretly hope she is a trucker.

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