Yes, this is the worst rendition of Rumpelstiltskin I could find.
So, I find myself in a bit of an awkward situation. There's a guy in my building, who likes to have deeply personal conversations with me whenever I run into him. We've talked about his divorce and how his kids have never been to his apartment. He's told me in awkward detail the amount of money he's spent on his Porsches, and how his hobby of racing is something he wishes he could share with someone. AND he's even asked me to join him for dinner and to go for a ride in his car. (I'll admit, the last request was hard to say no to. I mean, he told me he was a friend of my parents and even had candy.)
So, obviously, the conversations are awkward, and the fact that he doesn't really acknowledge the wedding ring on my finger as a barrier to his diarrhea of the mouth. But, what's really awkward is I have absolutely no idea what his name is. Not a clue. We call him "Metro" because of beautifully constructed hair, designer clothes and semi effeminate gestures, but I don't think he would appreciate the nickname. 3 1/2 years of conversations and all I can say is, "Well, guy, have a good night." I just pray one day he'll talk in the third person, and then I can say, "(Insert Metro's real name) stop cornering me and making me listen to incredibly awkward conversations!!"
Any suggestions on how to get Rumpelstiltskin to reveal his name?