I Gots Crazy Hormones

For the past six days, I've been injecting myself with a fertility drug, called Menopur. Okay, that's a lie. Let me start again. For the past six days, I've been screaming and slapping the table, while Dr. Seuss (name has been changed to protect the privacy of my husband) injects me with Menopausal Urine, using a dull syringe that couldn't pop a balloon if it tried. (I figured I'm among friends, so I might as well be honest.) And how is this blast of hormones going? Well, I have to admit, I was holding it together pretty well - minus the Lifetime movie last night and the sudden binge of ice cream - but today I reached my breaking point. On Sunday, my doctor decided he wanted to up my dosage of the menopausal urine, but neglected to call in the prescription. Consequently, I called the doctor's office all day trying to get someone to call the pharmacy, but never got a live body on the phone. So, finally I decided to just go to the pharmacy, and either bargain for some magic potion or steal it with my sharp keys as a weapon. (It wasn't a well thought out plan - I'll admit that.)

Anyway, as I sat there, stewing over the idiots at the doctor's office, and listening to the pharmacist tell me how they just need a fax from my doctor, I finally cracked. I stood up, and in a rather high pitched voice, I said something like, "I've been trying to call all day. (cue almost tears) I swear, my doctor is an idiot." Now, in most cases, I would have stopped the madness and immediately apologized, but instead, and yes, I'm blaming the hormones, I stomped away and muttered to a poor old man, "I swear, I'm 31, I just want to get pregnant sometime in the near future!" I'll admit, in retrospect, it was a little funny to watch him perk up for a second. I think he thought I needed some help right at that moment. (Down boy.)

I'm happy to report that I did finally get my drugs, 40 minutes later, and that I did apologize to everyone in the pharmacy, but I know it's too late. Once you reveal yourself as crazy there's no going back. Come on people, it's the hormones!!