Monday, February 11, 2013

This Is a Real Post

Family, friends, creepy stalkers I have a question for all of you:  How are we going to get out of this debt situation?  No, I'm just kidding. I don't care about that.  My serious question is this: Who decided it's alright to just empty your shopping cart and then leave it some random place?  (If you are one of those people, then stop reading, because yes, this entire entry is going to be about you lazy people.)  First of all, did you know the same amount of energy you put into hauling and heaving the shopping cart onto some random sidewalk (Yeah, I'm talking to the people, who frequent the Marina del Rey Costco) you could actually use to, I don't know, put the cart into lanes they actually designate for them. Yes, you heard me right - stores actually thought of this situation ahead of time, and even went so far, as to create "little homes" for all the carts to return to.  Wild right?

Now listen, don't give me that crap about setting the cart out for some future shopper to come and take it back into the store because it ain't gonna happen.  You know why?  Because the cart is shoved between a suburban and a huge bush, and unless you are targeting someone who is addicted to the game Operation, this cart isn't going anywhere.

And lastly, don't give me the excuse about not wanting to leave your child or groceries unattended while you walk the fifteen feet to return the cart.  One, if someone steals your child while you are returning the cart then hats off to them.  Honestly, you cannot, I repeat, cannot unlock a child out of car seat in the 7 seconds you have your back turned.  It can't be done.  I can't even do it in 45 seconds.  I swear, those locks are sealed by the devil.  And the groceries...well, you are an idiot if you think your Eggos are going to be saved from completely de-thawing with those 7 extra seconds of being sealed in your movable refrigerator car.

So, friends do me a favor - one, return your carts.  And two, when you see someone giving you the eye of, "Hey buddy take this cart in with you so I don't have to walk it four steps," look away.   Just look away.


shannola said...

Srsly. Those folks make me stabby.

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