Here are my thoughts from the American Idol finale:
1. That "Mountain" song made me feel funny.
2. I hope that Bikini Girl gets hit by a bus on the way home. (Preferably in her bikini)
3. Adam Lambert tongue bothers me. I feel like his breath would smell.
4. Was Rod Stewart drunk?
5. My heart goes out to the blind guy, but making him sing, "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" is just plain mean.
6. What kind of tape does Paula use to tape her boobs together? Is it industrial tape? Good ol' duct tape? Super glue?
7. I sort of want to put Kris Allen in my pocket and pull him out for an afternoon song each day.
8. How many days does Kris Allen's wife have until the supermodel wife?
9. I will always watch the finale with my parents for comments like these, "What does it mean for that guy to trash his guitar?" "Kate, he's wearing make-up!!" And..."Who's that?" after every new person who graces the screen.
10. Boo to the yeah that Kris Allen won. (Spoiler alert) for you Tivo people.