Wednesday, June 5, 2013


So, lately I've been doing a lot of ironing, scrapbooking, reading, knitting, putting together first aid kits for kids in Africa...alright, watching TV.  Anyway, last night as I was putting dinner together I happened to have the TV on and started listening to Jeopardy.  After nailing two questions in a row about the Dodgers, and feeling like a complete genius, I might add, Alex Trebeck took a moment in the show to do some interviews of the contestants.  I must admit, these interviews have to be my favorite part of the entire show - mainly because for a few seconds I get to feel semi-superior to these freaks of nature, who somehow know every sonnet Shakespeare wrote and the entire Periodic Table.  (Yes, being an expert on those two things would classify you as a genius in my book.)

Anyway, last night the three contestants, Alex had to interview, were particularly "awesome."  For the first one, Alex read on his card, "So, it says here you like some interesting things about rocks.  What would that be?"  What proceeded could only be described as something less awkward than watching two elderly people french kiss.  Somehow through a lot of deep breaths and stutters, the fun fact genius, but social moron, described how he likes to go to different ponds and find rocks that have been sitting for long periods of time.  And as if that wasn't awkward enough, Alex asked a follow-up question of, "So, what's the longest sitting rock you've ever found?"  To which the pond geologist responded with, "Um, there's really no way to tell."  "Fascinating," responded Alex.  Fascinating?  Which part?  The part that his hobby doesn't actually make sense?  Okay, now that I write it out it does seem interesting.

The next two idiots were equally as strange.  One, is a huge fan of Anderson Cooper because he likes trivia.  (To which, she awkwardly looked into the TV screen and said, "So...I suppose, Anderson if you are ever in New York you have a...uh, standing invitation to our...uh...trivia night.")  What did Alex respond with?  "Fascinating."  Again, Alex which part?  The part where someone named Anderson Cooper is going to be filing a restraining order pretty soon in New York?

And lastly, the two time champion had to tell everyone on live TV that his two day winning total of $19,000 is more than he makes in a year working at a grocery store.  When hearing that, Alex asked the question that all of us were dying to ask, "So, are you going to stop working at the grocery store now that you have all this money?"  After a few moments of awkward silence, the contestant responded, "Um, no, it's really not that much money."

This made me laugh out loud.  Honestly, Alex, you are surrounded by trivia all day long.  You read questions with such confidence, that for a second I forget you have the answers right in front of you.  You rock a man bracelet.  (This has got to take confidence to pull off.)  Doesn't any of this sink in?  Haven't you gotten a little smarter throughout the years?  Or are you so immersed in stupid fun facts that you have forgotten that after taxes his $19,000 might come out to $9,000?  Do you know you can't really live off that for long?  Huh, Alex?  Respond!  And don't you dare respond with...fascinating...

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