Wednesday, June 12, 2013
It's Not a Leash, It's A Lion!
Anyway, as I was out, sort of looking over my shoulder for the divorced dad, who would most likely be tracking me down for virtually stealing his stroller, I noticed a child, probably three years old, being walked by his father in a monkey harness. Now, I'm not one to judge...no seriously, can we discuss this?
First of all, to the company that makes these contraptions - disguising these harnesses as lions, monkeys and dogs doesn't negate, or mask the fact, that you have built an apparatus to control your child much like reins on a horse, yokes on cattle and leashes on dogs. Seriously, what was the creative meeting like on these things? Did someone stand up and say, "Honestly, if we make them look like a fun dog with long arms no one will notice a child is being led through the mall like inmate #11432."
Second of all, what did that kid do that warranted this straight jacket in the middle of suburbia? Did he feed too much to the ducks? Did he stop and smell too many flowers? Did he fall behind as the family of four gently walked the circular path around the lake? Seriously, when I walked past this kid the only thing going on in his head was, "Hey nice looking woman, with that brand new BOB, do you know the number for Children Protective Services?"
And lastly, parents if you are going to use these animal harnesses, please don't make the kid walk with actual leashed dogs. I mean, come on, what are you teaching this kid? Before you know it he'll be picking up his own poop in plastic bags and asking for his belly to be scratched just so he can get some attention.
I've only been a parent for nine months, but there's got to be a better way. Drugs, maybe?