Ladies and gentleman...the band: Ten Feet.
This might come as a surprise to some of you, but I sort of hate lazy people. Yep, I said it. Slow driving people in the left lane and lazy people...oh, and people who pay with checks at Costco. Come on! I am holding a six month old, a box of yogurt, a box of cereal, a chicken, chips, bread and gum...(Yes, that's my usual Costco list. And yes, I don't use carts at Costco. If you have ever visited the Costco in Marina Del Rey you'll know why. Right now if you listen carefully enough someone just got trampled there.) Okay, where was I - oh yes, I hate lazy people. And you know who are the laziest people in the whole planet? My neighbors. Not the people, who live to my left, right and behind...I mean, my Asian neighbors, but the people, who live directly in front of us...not my Asian neighbors. And why are they the laziest people on the planet...and no, it's not because they aren't Asian, it is because ten feet from our houses are two lanes of parking. Ten feet. A little more than 3 yards. The height of a basketball hoop. And according to this very informative website: (You got to click on the link to get the joke.)
However, as accessible as this free parking is, they refuse to park there. Instead, they insist on parking directly in front of our garage. When we have asked them why they can't just park 10 feet away they always tell us, "My daughter, my sister, I (depending on who we ask) has a baby." A baby, huh? They can't walk 10 feet because they have a baby? Tell me you don't have legs. Tell me you are afraid of walking. Tell me you suffer from sunlight exposure, which will melt the skin right off your face. Something. A baby? That, my lazy neighbors, is NOT going to cut it because you know what I'm going to do next time? I'm going to back into your "Baby On Board" sign, and when you ask why I did it, I'm going to say, "Because I have a baby."