Tuesday, March 19, 2013

What Goes Around Comes Around

Um, this picture is more than I ever wanted to find.

Have you ever heard the saying, "What goes around comes around?"  Well, in my lifetime I've seen this saying in action.  For example, I used to mercifully make fun of women who wore their maternity clothes years after having their children...now, I'm becoming more sympathetic...and impressed with their frugality and resourcefulness to fully utilize the clothes, that were intended for a short period of time, but have now become a staple in their current and future wardrobe.  See, my mockery has come back in 8 pounds, that won't go away...(cue, dropping the Girl Scout Thin Mint I have in my hand.) 

However, as humbling as these 8 pounds have been, there has been another force in my life that has truly, truly convinced me that what you dish out will someday come rushing back to you. What is that force?  None other than the Postal Service.  Yes, you heard me.  The Postal Service.  Take these examples:

1. When my sister was 16 she was backing our green Volvo station wagon out of my friend's driveway when she by accident struck and knocked over their mailbox.  A week later the mailbox was fixed and our wagon sported a dent for the next three years. 

Two years later, while living in Utah, an embarrassed mailman rang the door of my Aunt's house, and informed my sister that he had ran directly into her new Honda Civic, that was parked on the street.

What goes around comes around....

2. When I was 16, my field hockey team decided one night to participate in a team building exercise and toilet paper our coach's house.  I, the ever consummate documenter, decided we should video tape the act of vandalism and then show it at our team awards ceremony at the end of the season.  (Because what 40 something old woman doesn't want to relive the day a bunch of high school students destroyed her home?)  Anyway, my team decided to meet at my house, and while we left my neighborhood, my teammates decided to warm up their vandalism skills by knocking over and uprooting every mailbox along the way.  (That would probably be about 15-20 mailboxes.)  Did I participate in this deplorable debauchery against my neighbors?  Um, I definitely didn't against the ones I liked...

Two weeks ago I was out riding my bike, when I saw a mail truck start to come down the street from a neighborhood.  I assumed the truck saw me so I continued biking down the street.  However, on purpose or not, (We'll never know, will we?) he looked right, then in my direction, and then accelerated forward just as I was crossing his path.  Immediately, I did the customary bike holler of, "Heeyyyy, Whooaaaa!!!"  (Because stopping cars is like stopping horses...) and he slammed on his brakes just as he was about to hit me.  Now, did he look embarrassed?  No, not really.  Did he look apologetic?  If you call him miming mailboxes being hit and then laughing and pointing at the imaginary fallen mailbox as sorry, then yes, I guess you could say he WASN'T a future assassin sent from the past to collect retribution for my incredible slight to the postal service almost 17 years ago!

What goes around comes around....

Do not, I repeat, do not mess with the Postal Service.  They might not deliver on Saturday anymore, but they are always watching.

1 comment:

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