Go With The Life Support

Anyone out there ever seen the show House Hunters?  If not, here's what it's all about according to Wikipedia: The program follows individuals, couples, or families searching for a new home with the assistance of a realtor.  Each broadcast features three properties, one of which is selected by the prospective buyer, whose offer generally is accepted by the seller. In the final moments of the show, the new owner provides a tour of the house, revealing what changes and/or improvements if any were made after moving in.

Sounds like a fun show huh?  Well, if you've been renting since you were 18, you will hate this show. No, you will want to find these "prospective buyers," hunt them down and then force them to live in a 4x4 box with only a three inch hole they can use for either air, sunlight, food or removing certain fluids.  (Did that option sound planned out?  Well, after watching three episodes of this show, let's just say, the 4x4 box just "came to me.")

Why the hate?  Well, one because I'm jealous. Let's just get that out now.  I'm jealous people are allowed to get a home of their own and not have to deal with gaudy light fixtures, ants and Iranian landlords writing broken English text messages about finding their son, who lives in the basement, a job at your "...husband work office."  (Water those forsaken dead lemon trees that have caused an infestation of ants in my home and maybe I'll think about telling husband of "son job needed.")

Second of all, I don't know if they tell the people ahead of time to be as annoying as possible, but geezzzz.  These idiots will walk in with a budget of $23,000 and say, "Well, the kitchen seemed small, and we were really hoping for hardwood floors and a master sauna."  Really for $23,000? Do you have a basic concept of money?  Or they'll openly berate the realtor for having the audacity of bringing them to such a "dump" when they initially said they wanted a freaking FIXER-UPPER!  Okay, I sort of love when they get sassy with the realtor, but in reality who really does that?  I don't remember taking my realtor by the hair and shoving his face in a spot in the carpet all the while saying, "Do you think I'm an idiot and wouldn't notice this spot?  Do you think I'm an idiot? Say it!  AM I an IDIOT!?"

And lastly, I hate, hate the big reveal at the end.  By the end of the show, I'm only hoping one of them have accidentally slipped into a coma and no longer have the $23,000 to buy the backwoods home in Alabama.

Now, that would be a good show.  Will John buy the house or keep his wife on life support?