Crazy Train

I realize I'm a little late to the game on this movie review, but last weekend, Roger Egbert and I finally rented Unstoppable. (Just in time before it started showing weekly on FX.) Now, I realize that many people found this movie to be "Exciting" and "Grabbed our attention and didn't let us go for 98 nail-biting minutes of non-stop action and tension..." (as said by Louise Keller of Urban Cenfile), but I'm not sure I was as "riveted and excited by the show." First of all, and not to spoil the movie for those six of you who haven't seen it, but it's a train. Just a train going fast without a driver. I wouldn't call that non-stop action. If anything it's just non-stop stupidity watching this train move along because a fat idiot couldn't run fast enough to stop the train from starting in the first place. Now had a diabolical terrorist sent the train down the track, laced with explosives and threw in some fifth grade kids into the caboose, I would have had a little more "tension" watching this.

Second of all, the attempts of stopping this train were just plain ridiculous. Roger had an especially hard time with this aspect of the movie. I think he shouted a total of seven times, "This is so stupid, just put some people on the train and they'll stop it." (Spoiler alert: That's what happened...well, after they tried to shoot at the emergency brake button - which was, of course, right next to the fuel button. You CAN'T write more high tension stuff than this.)

And lastly, my problem with this movie was the incredibly anti-climatic ending. Of course, I knew at some point they were going to stop the train, but watching Chris Pine pull the lever off autopilot and watching the train slow down left me feeling empty inside. There was no final fight scene between the disgruntled Amtrak employee, who wanted to kill everyone, and the rookie operator, who still believed in the integrity of the train system. Or was a new love formed after surviving such a horrifying experience. No instead, we had to watch Denzel flirt like an old man with Rosario Dawson, and Chris Pine win back the love of his wife after pulling the lever that stopped the train.

So, overall...not my favorite movie. I mean the train did stop soooo it wasn't exactly "unstoppable." Just sayin'...