As I've mentioned before, I've had ample opportunities to see celebrities at my place of work. I've seen A-List stars like Kate Hudson, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Orlando Bloom, and I've even seen some D-List stars like, Urkel, Ed Rooney and the meathead from Can't Buy Me Love (they are such D-List stars they don't even deserve the time it would take me to look up their actual names). Now, in all these brushes with fame I've noticed a few things. One, a lot of them are tiny. For example, one of the hobbits from Lord of the Rings (not the famous one from Lost) is an actual hobbit, and Helen Hunt has huge hips but a tiny, tiny face (which is always in a permanent frown - what Soul Surfer wasn't what you envisioned after winning an Academy Award?) Secondly, I've noticed that celebrities, regardless of their status, feel like it's okay to exhibit a complete disregard for social norms on PDA. Worst offender would have to go to Kim Raver, who plays Teddy on Grey's Anatomy - who basically got on top of her husband while I was delivering their taco platter. Come on Kim, I supported the long face through 24, Lipstick Jungle and I'm even attempting to believe you can tame Yang on Grey's. Thirdly, I've noticed that if you are a celebrity it is alright to look homeless when you come to breakfast. Again, worst offenders would either be Alison Lohman, who starred in Big Fish and Flicka, (I actually told her she would have to buy something in order to use the bathroom) or Luke Wilson, who looked like he actually stole a homeless man's shirt and was wearing a beard that was eating his face.
Lastly, I've noticed that old man rockers all sport the same haircuts. What is this? Does it still make them cool to have haircuts that make them look like they just stepped off the tour bus, or that they just finished a weekend bender with Led Zeppelin? Seriously, there's this guy, probably in his late 50s, that comes in all the time (no names because I sort of love this customer, but suffice it to say, he's very legit and plays with a legend) who has the most ridiculous haircut. It's sort of a cross between Bon Jovi 1980s and Gary Busey of today. What makes his haircut even better is when he has lunch with other old time rockers. The other day, there was a whole table of grown men, some older than my dear father, who were sporting crazy highlights, hair going everywhere, and two had long stringy hair, that you could tell was just longing for the days when women actually liked to run their fingers through it. Honestly, these guys need a quick trip to reality land...and maybe Supercuts.