Sunday, August 8, 2010

The "S" Word

My mom never liked when I said the "s" word, (no, not shit). Instead, she hated when I said, "I suck at..." or "that really sucks..." I don't know why that word fell under the category of "Bad Things To Say That Really Aren't Bad,"* but sweet, sweet B-ba never approved. Well, Mom, cover your ears because I'm about to get all sorts a crazy in this entry about things I...yep, here it comes...suck at.

What caused this entry? Well, for the past three and an half hours I've been ironing Philip Drinker's (name has been changed to protect the privacy of my husband) shirts. And well, I suck at it. I don't think if I worked at a dry cleaners for the rest of my life, (insert comment about being Korean), (insert apology for racial stereotype), or if practiced all day could I iron ONE forsaken shirt in less than 30 minutes. I don't know if I'm missing a "wife gene," or if I'm really bad with pressing hot objects down on cotton, but I suck at ironing. And, by the way, who decided we needed to look all pressed and neat? Whoever you are - I'm not a fan.

And since I've already offended my sweet mother, let me just continue on a few more things I suck at. 1. Listening to my messages. I currently have something like 40 unheard messages in my inbox. I don't know why I'm so bad at this, but just know, when I call back I have absolutely no idea why you called. 2. Hiding my thoughts when I look at someone. You will, by the look of my face, know if the girl, who just passed me, is wearing proper sized shorts or not. 3. According to Mr. Drinker (I just asked for his opinion) the English language. It's not that my vocabulary is bad, I just don't know how to properly pronounce things. (It sucks being smart and not being able to show off.)

Okay, I think that's enough for now. You suck for wanting more...

* The taboo list also included: guts, piss (in all forms) and ass. Okay, the last one is a lie. Who can really get mad at a kid who says something with ass in it?

1 comment:

Ru said...

My dad hates "suck" too. He always acted like it was the equivalent of a swear when we were little. Must be a Frost thing. Clearly, I did not internalize any of those lessons about avoiding vulgarity :)