I mentioned a while back that I decided to take up golf. Now, almost two months later, I'm beginning to think I made a horrible mistake. Simply put, golf does strange things to me. First, I develop a great rage inside of me when I'm at the driving range, and desperately uncoordinated people, are able to, not only hit the ball straight, but farther than me. Last Saturday I almost followed an old Korean woman to her car to beat her over the head with my sand wedge. This is not normal.
Secondly, I talk to myself and not in a real "positive" way. Usually, when I work out, I think things like, "Man, you are doing great." Or "Gee, Kate you sure are pushing yourself." And sometimes when I ride my bike up a ridiculous incline I'll say, "Come on get up there." With golf, I think more things AND say things out loud like, "What are you a complete moron?" or "Geez, why don't you just take me behind the building and shoot me? I think that would be less painful." Again, not normal.
And lastly, I find myself doubting my whole athletic ability. Again, this usually starts with watching the crippled man pull himself out of his wheelchair to nail his ball 150 yards farther than mine. And then more doubt creeps in when my teacher calls me Kathy and snickers every time I slice the ball. Honestly, it takes me the entire ride home to remember I've had great moments in sports and this is not a real reflection of my overall coordination.
So, will I keep doing it? Stayed tuned. And if you hear of any random acts of violence at the Rancho Park Golf Course...it wasn't me.