Wednesday, April 10, 2013

It's Just Gas People

If you've ever gotten gas at Costco you can probably answer yes to one of these questions: 1. Have you ever been behind that car that refuses to go around the other car, that is filling up, to get to the open pump, because they are afraid it's "too tight of a fit to get around," or because they think they can just out wait the other car?  2.  Have you ever waited in your car seventeen extra seconds while some idiot decides to check all their mirrors, gauges and blood pressure before they finally pull out? 3.  And lastly, have you ever wanted to kill the moron who stands in front of the gas pump wondering where to put their card in, as if they have never filled their car up before? 

Honestly, why is it that at the busiest gas stations in America people have to be either the slowest morons or the biggest idiots?  I just don't understand. 

So, for the past six years, or since I've been a member at the Cost-CO, I've prided myself on being fast and incredibly efficient at the gas pump.  For example, before I put my car in park my Costco card and Amex are already in my hand.  Two, as soon as the car is put in park, the gas tank door is opened.  Three, I get out of the car, open the gas nozzle, insert cards, push my level of gas, yank on the hose and fill up.  As soon as I'm finished, I reverse the past steps, get into my car, with the cards still in my hand, drive off and put away cards at next light. EFFICIENT.  It's not hard people - miss a step and then everything goes out the window.

The other day I forgot to open the gas tank door and everything went to hell.  I ended up laying the gas hose on the ground, dropping my cards underneath the car, screaming at some imaginary troll, who was obviously not authorizing my card inside the gas pump, and to finish, I banged my body into the car as I was trying to close the gas tank door, finish pumping and replace the hose in all one motion.  (WHAT?  I was trying to make up some walking through my car.)

So, listen, I promise you, good things will come if you follow the steps.  If you don't...I can't promise that you won't set yourself on fire.

Oh, and if this ever happens to you at a busy Costco, make sure you take off the Duke license plate cover off your car.  As I was searching for my Amex underneath the car I heard someone say, "Hey Duke, you need any help?" 


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