Thursday, January 27, 2011

Please Sir, I Want Some More

Before we begin, let me apologize for my misspelling in my last entry. Yes, it was "waist" not "waste" we were looking for. I do appreciate all your faithful readers, who caught the mistake and brought it to my attention. I'll admit, I wrote that entry in a rather sleepy state. I promise I will not write another entry or use heavy machinery without having my brain at full capacity again.

So, the other day I was sitting in the market area of our restaurant when a woman came in and asked to purchase the entire batch of oatmeal cookies we had made for the day. As soon as she made this request, a man behind her let out a soft whimper, and then ever so Oliver Twist of him, asked if he might be able to buy one of the 21 she was buying. She, without even a single moment of hesitation said, "No." At first, all of us other grown-ups in the market area assumed she was kidding, but when he asked again, and even included the fact that he had walked his fat ass all the way down from work just to buy a cookie, she again said, "No." Granted, this time she followed it up with a smile, but I think her message was the same. What was that message? Well, it was, "I'm a grown woman, who due to her parents lacking of parenting missed the entire first grade where they teach you on how not to be an a-hole AND how to share. So, I'm taking the entire 21 cookies and I don't care about your low blood sugar or strange addiction to an oatmeal cookie because I too have my addictions. I enjoy finding something people enjoy and taking all of it. I enjoy watching your face crumble in disbelief and disappointment as I hand over my credit card and take away the last piece of joy you had in this life." (I'm paraphrasing of course.)

Eventually, my co-worker couldn't stand the ridiculousness (again, you all can spell check me on this one) going on in front of him and said, "Really, you won't just give him one cookie?" I thought she might withstand the additional pressure to act normal, since she started with the "sorry sucker" smile, but she finally caved.

Is it bad that I secretly hope someone either stole all of those cookies, or at some point when she needs blood, Mr. Oliver Twist will be the only one who can save her, but when she asks for just a little blood, he'll tilt his head and while smiling say, "No?"

5 comments:

Julie said...

Customer of the Week?

SkippyMom said...

Sorry about pointing out the waist thing - I thought I was missing something. I was trying to be the Spelling Nazi. I swear. :D

As for the oatmeal cookie woman - what a jerk.

It would've been just if she had bitten into one, choked and the only person in the shop who knew the Heimlich maneuver was the gentleman.

[Okay, okay...that is just mean. Sorry.]

I am also, evidently, very apologetic today.

Sorry. hee ;)

SkippyMom said...

OMG - that should say *wasn't.

[Note to self: PROOFREAD you big dummy.]

Rachel said...

What a poo head!

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