Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Canadians Can Do Anything They Want

Today the following conversation took place.

Scene - Line cooks are hungover from going out the previous night.

Line Cook: Kate what do you do to get over a hangover?

Kate: I don't know. I've never been drunk.

Line Cook: You've never been drunk? How is that possible?

Kate: Well, actually it's quite possible because I have never drank.

Line Cook: Never drank? What are you Canadian or something?

In all my years of not drinking, I've been asked some strange questions as to why I have chosen to abstain from alcohol. There was the, "Do you not drink because you lost an uncle or something to alcoholism?" (Yes, and while you are bumping and grinding up next to me in this intimate bar, let me tell you about this sad story of my favorite uncle's battle with the bottle.) Or "Do you not drink because you aren't 21?" (Probably my favorite question. Yes, I don't drink because I made a pact in 5th grade social studies to abide by every law.)

Of course, some intelligent people have asked the religious question, but no one, yes, no one has ever asked me if being Canadian was the reason I don't drink. I think from now on I'm not only going to use that as my excuse for not drinking, but everything in general. For example, today I didn't shower. Why? Because I'm Canadian. Yesterday, I killed a man for fun. Whyyyy? Because....well, because I'm Canadian.

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