Today I found out that I have been nominated for "Coach of the Year." Now, in any other circumstance I would be humbled by this nomination, but this is a weird situation. One, I sort of feel like President Obama accepting the Noble Peace Prize. I mean, my team has won three games this year and been beaten by an average of 11 goals in each of our defeats. That's not exactly stellar coaching at work.
Two, I have been known to make somewhat belligerent comments during and after our games. Some of my favorites: 1. Getting a card at our BYU game (in the freakin' first half) after screaming out, really to no one, "Wow, so we are actually not reffing today? Good to know. I hate when I don't check my email. 2. For "muttering" "d-bag" after shaking Chico State's coach's hand and feeling good about it. 3. For screaming out, after a girl from UCSB tried TWICE and NOT even sort of successfully, to shoot behind her back, "That's it, because you definitely get extra points for difficulty in lacrosse. And by the way, the shot is even on goal, so let's go back to the old fashioned way of shooting! Shall we?"
And three, the nomination, put in by coaches from UC Davis, in itself was constructed to basically say, "This coach is great because when we were killing them she acted really cool." So, that's it. I'm nominated for being a good loser? No thanks. I would rather by nominated for my wit, my bitter sarcasm, my name calling, my attempts to trip refs as they run by, my 12 year old antics of informing my girls that they are already winners because the opposing coaches are either pedophiles, losers or some other choice playground term etc., etc., etc. Anything, but being a good loser. Seriously, it's downright embarrassing.