Thursday, April 8, 2010

It Will Go Beyond Getting Your ZZZs

I know it's been a while since my last entry, but since last Saturday I have been in a nyquil coma. I don't know if I contracted the swine flu, the black plague or I'm being cursed for not getting a flu shot, but I have been bordering on death. Since my first cough I have been self-medicating myself with nyquil. Those of you not familiar with this drug, let me read from the bottle, sitting right next to me, what effects are listed: Excitability may occur, especially in children (this was probably written by a child on nyquil because there is no way someone becomes "excited" while on nyquil), and marked drowsiness may occur (when they say "marked" do they mean "extreme?"). It then goes on to say: be careful when operating heavy machinery or driving a motor vehicle and alcohol, sedatives and tranquilizers may increase drowsiness. (Who is taking tranquilizers with nyquil? That would be like eating a bowl of prunes and then drinking a glass of ex-lax to go to the bathroom. It's just not necessary.)

Anyway, after a few days on this miracle drug I feel like they really need to add some additional warnings and effects.

For example:
1. Nyquil may cause you to under react in extreme circumstances.
Where this conclusion came from: On Sunday, April 4, a 7.2 earthquake hit Southern California. I was laying in bed at the time, and while my bed was swaying back and forth and the blinds were rattling, I muttered, in a comatose state, "Stop the moving." Charles Ritcher (name has been changed to protect the privacy of my husband) came running in and exclaimed, "Did you feel that!" Again, all I could do was roll over and moan.

2. Nyquil may cause you to lose all reasoning skills.
Where this conclusion came from: While on nyquil I decided, in between drinking my liquids and blowing my nose, I would send a document to Pepperdine. In the course of sending this document, I managed to uninstall our printer and title my email "ducument."

3. Nyquil may cause you to have weird food cravings.
Where this conclusion came from: Since Saturday I have eaten cool ranch dorritos, egos, granola bars, gatorade, oj, root beer and a slice of pizza. In any normal circumstance this food together would make me vomit, but since nyquil has deadened my appetite reasoning I find myself eating like a 13 year old boy.

I am happy to report today is my first day off nyquil and, though my hands are shaking a little bit, I plan on facing the day without it. Unless another earthquake hits - then it's back to the bottle...

1 comment:

JoAnn said...

Glad to see that Nyquil did not damage your sense of humor!

What a week you had! Hope you are soon back to whatever your "normal" is. You need to be better to celebrate that big day next week.