Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Butt

So, sometimes I play a little game through the blog world. I'll start on a blog I typically read, and then jump from their blog to someone they read, to someone that that other blog reads and so on. Eventually, I find myself reading about some bizarre picnic of people I don't know and how they decided to make potato salad without mayo. I know, no mayo! I'll be honest, it's sort of weird looking in on people's lives, but isn't that what blogs are all about?

Anyway, in the course of this game I've realized two things. One, I'm a snob about blogs. If I see more than two entries containing artistic pictures of asian salads and cupcakes, I have to restrain myself from leaving a comment that reads, "This blog makes me want to kill myself. Please do us all a favor and stop any contact with the internet."

Two, I really think some people are mentally not right. For example, the other day I came across a particular blog that made me want to get in my car and find this person - not to congratulate them, but to find their computer and destroy it. (Now just a little background. This blog is covered in crap. There's music playing, slideshows moving and grammatical errors all over the place.)

This was the entry, (With a few of my comments):

Then I noticed Lynzii (Who spells LINZEE like this?) was looking all pudgatron, which was such a tender mercy bc it reminded me that no matter what, I still am better than others so super greatful about that. {No offense}. (Taken.) PLUS I put Tridg and Alivyiah (Again, these names? These names. This alone should call for capital punishment) in darling outfits that matched JJWT's and I's outfits too, plus my shoes and mascara really made it pop. So basically a perfect Sunday. (Basically, I'm about to kill myself, but then I read the next paragraph.)

The only downer was the trail I faced, when a girl I won't name but who's little girl is darling and adorbs (not my mistake, but hers) and is one of Alivyiah and Tridger's besties, it honestly tears my heart out but I have to friend-breakup w/ them. Sad but true. I overheard her say something very, very vulgar and shocking. At our house we exclusively only say "bum" and never "butt" which is what I heard her say. Out loud. So, so sad. I'll just have to tell her sorry, our kids can't hang out anymore thanx to your poor choice, hate to judge but these really are the last days so I gotta pick a side you know? (Too many comments to make in small paranthesis.)

ANNNNNDDDD do you know what was the worst part of this entire entry?? She had 62 comments. 62 people, okay 63 people, read this entry. 62 people! I can't even get one comment from my mom!

ANNDDDD the comments were even more ridiculous than the entry.

Comment 1: (NO CHANGES MADE)
Isnt it such a trail to see you're besties let go of the iern rod? It's like they're totally taking for granit that their in Zion. Way to go for the friend-breakup decision. You should rite to the ensign about it.

I don't even know what to say to this.

Comment 2:
Your such a great example TAMN!!! I want to be as strong of a mother as you are and always keep your kids best interest in perspective! I deff-in-nut-ly would not want {whispering} B-U-T-T in my home let alone in front of my children ears. GAAAAASP!!! I mean imagine what she says behind closed doors... Bless her heart! She does know how her choices are affecting others! Good job for taking care of your family first! I hope she can learn from your example!

Great example!?? I'm literally sweating like a crazed person right now. Tawn, if you are out and stumble on my blog, please dig a hole and stay there. Please.

7 comments:

Kendra and Jared said...

hahahahahaha! Wow, this just rocked my world! Seriously, thank you for passing this along for my enjoyment.

Em said...

Baby girl, that blog is a joke. A real one. And the chick writes under a pen-name to poke fun at the same crap you and I judge so freely.

And ditto to the well-photographed salads. Nothing makes me angrier.

Ru said...

Oh no, hahahahah! Um, I've kind of wondered what happens to people who stumble upon Seriously, So Blessed without knowing beforehand that it's a joke. Someone told me about it a long time ago, so I always knew.

TAMN isn't real. She's a fake Mormon mommyblogger who has a fake husband named Jordan/Jason/Wes/Taylor (JJWT) who went to law/business/medical/dental school. All the commenters try to outdo each other as far as insulting and misspelled comments go. :)

http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/p/in-press.html

You should read her from the beginning, I think you would love her.

The Margin Wight said...

I agree with Em. That has to be satire. It's too rich to be anything else.

SkippyMom said...

I wanted you to get at least five comments [besides your mom] so I decided to leave one myself and let you know that I thoroughly enjoyed your outrage and comments on this fake blog - pretty cute. Don't worry I am sure you aren't the only one who thought it was real.

If you ever get the urge to come over to my blog you probably don't want to because I write about tuna fish casserole and packing brown bag lunches. But I can tell you my pictures suck and that I have [on occasion] mentioned porn mustaches in regards to my husband.

So forgive me in advance if I come even close to the [fake] So Blessed - because I really like your blog.

[I found you through Ru!]

Molly said...

Ha ha you tool:) You really thought that was for real?? I know who that girl is and she makes bank with advertisements etc. And basically all she is doing is making fun of other peoples blogs! why didn't I think of that????

Marshall and Staci said...

Now I'm embarrassed. I totally just found this through a friend's blog, and it made me laugh that I can get trapped into blog surfing even though I make fun of others who do (specifically my mother). Anyway, I agree that blog is ridiculous, but if it is fake, it's awesome.