Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mental Note

Lately, I've been making some mental notes to myself. I thought I would share them to show you my state of mind at this time:

1. Stop using mixing bowls as cereal bowls. You inevitably eat too much cereal and it's hard to slurp the milk at the end.

2. Drink more water. Your body cannot sustain strictly on the liquid it receives from sucking on jolly ranchers and the milk from your cereal.

3. Brush your teeth before John (name has been changed to protect the identity of my husband) comes home. You'll feel more like an adult, and you won’t be scared to open the door when the UPS man comes.

4. Stop worrying about who Jason will choose on The Bachelor. One, you don't know him. Two, his happiness won't affect yours in any way. Three, whoever he picks won't work out any way.

5. Don't start a Text Twist game as a break. This will become the afternoon obsession.

6. Read the Newsweeks that are piling up. Your boycott of anything Obama is only causing clutter.

7. Stop trying to run. Your hamstring and butt is completely pulled from two weekends ago. Remember you are almost 30.

8. Stop staring at people at the gym. There are mirrors everywhere and people see your expressions of horror while they grunt and moan as they lift.

9. Don't moan or grunt while lifting.

10. Stop listening to "American Boy" by Estelle and Kanye West. One, Kanye West is an idiot. Two, you will only end up singing in a high pitch voice, "Ameri-ccan Boy" all day.

I know, I too noticed there was no note to serve more or recycle. I am who I am.

*11. Don't stick your head into dinosaur's heads because that is just playing with fire.

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