Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Where Did All The Pumpkins Go?

I don't know what the equivalent of a Christmas "Bah, Humbug" would be for Halloween, but I think I've got it.  Don't worry it's not about the gluttonous amounts of candy that will be consumed, or the fact, that grown men will finally be able to fulfill their secret, and somewhat bizarre, desire to dress as a woman (Is it the fact that they get fake boobs for three hours?) but this year my complaint is about the ridiculous decorations I'm witnessing in the neighborhoods around my apartment.  Listen, where I grew up, Halloween decorations consisted of a carved pumpkin, maybe two if the family was going crazy, and maybe a fall themed wreath.  That was it.  Out here, in Santa Monica, I see barely any pumpkins (which makes me feel like the Communists are winning) and absolutely no wreaths.  But you know what I do see?  Homes covered in fake spider webs, skeletons left on the ground, fake grave sites, blown up pumpkins (this is definitely a Communist plot) and ghosts hanging from the trees.  IT'S TOO MUCH! 

First of all, why all the crap?  Did the store Michael's blow up and all this crap just accidentally landed on people's property?  Because if that's the case - then fine, all is forgiven.  However, if this crap was purposely purchased and then took an entire Saturday to put up - then no, nothing is forgiven. 

Second of all, Christmas decorations = pretty, festive, inviting.  Halloween decorations = tacky, doesn't look good in direct light or at night.  Oh, and come on, real gravestones don't say "Trick or Treat!"  GEEZZ.

Lastly, what are we celebrating here?  A man, who was burned and then put knives on his hands and scared the crap out of kids through their dreams?  Or is it the guy in the hockey goalie mask?  No, wait it must be that guy with the chainsaw...ahhh, I love that guy.

Okay, I take it all back.  Celebrate away...I hear Michael's still has some crap.

I'll be taking some pictures on my walk tomorrow. 

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