Monday, September 24, 2012
Late Night With Lifetime
For example, the other night our little Avery decided, at two in the morning, to do her best Chuck Norris impression. For almost an hour she performed round house kicks, punched the air and, I'm not sure, but a little facial hair might have started to come in. Anyway, I had just fed her, changed her diaper and was at my wits end, when the husband commanded me to go back to bed, and took her into the other room. After a blissful hour of sleep, I was awoken by a soft cry. As I entered the living room to scoop my hungry baby up, I found the husband and the baby, both with no shirts on, on the floor watching a Lifetime Movie. Now, you probably haven't seen this one - it's about this girl who has sex for money, then almost gets killed...oh wait, I'm sorry it was a Lifetime movie - you know the premise. (I wonder would Lifetime would do if a writer presented a story about a fulfilled woman in a happy marriage? Can you imagine? Honestly, this channel's writing team must be filled with battered and broken women.)
Anyway, after a thirty minute feed, I swaddled Avery, placed her in bed and then got into bed with the husband. After ten seconds of listening to Avery breathe and trying to go to sleep, the husband rolled over and excitedly said, "So, the pimp is actually an off-duty police officer. So, he said if the girl talks he'll have her mom and dad killed!"
Yep, three in the morning and the husband is all excited about a Lifetime movie. I guess it's not just a channel for women.