Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas Cards and Baseball Cards

* To the right is the picture I used for our Christmas card. It basically says, "Hey we travel to cool places. Happy Holidays!"

Merrryyy Christmas everyone!

Without a doubt, this is my favorite holiday. I mean, Thanksgiving is awesome, but a holiday mixed with food AND gifts - could there be anything better?

However, there is one aspect of Christmas I'm not a huge fan of: Christmas Cards. Why? Well, one, they don't make a lot of sense to me because, basically, all you are really doing is either saying, "Hey, here's a great picture of us at some beach, or location you wish you had the money and time to see, but you don't," OR "Hey, here's a bizarre way of telling you I had another kid and now I have five and you still have none."*

And then, if you send these cards to people you see all the time, (which I sort of did) it becomes more like trading baseball cards then actually wishing people Merry Christmas. I mean seriously, I get someone's "card" and I'm like, "Oh man, I had better send on my picture so we have made an even trade." Honestly, at the end of the holiday we should all get together and see what rookie cards we got and how much they are worth.

And then, there's the dreaded single spaced, 10 size font "Family Breakdown of the Year" insert. Come on, be honest, do you read these? I'll be honest, I do. Why do I take the time to read these? Because every once in a while you find a little nugget nestled in these reports. If you read close enough, you just might find out who's the in-law they can't stand, or the grandkid with the least chance of succeeding. Now these gems can be hidden, but if you look for key phrases like, "Bob, Sally's husband, has decided after fifteen years of working at X company, he's going to buy a boat and sell the fish he catches to people at the docks! Go get 'em Bob!" Translation: Bob's an idiot and Sally will be looking for us to support them in a year. Or, "Little Billy, our third grandson, enjoys video games, bugs, sleeping and candy. Don't try to pry that XBox from him!" Translation: Billy is a social weirdo and we worry one day he'll be either homeless or a data entry specialist.

Alright, I'm off to the post office to send out some additional cards. I hate when you get cards from people you didn't send anything to. I wish they would give you a heads up text they were going to do that so don't waste a card on your dentist.

*Did you sense the bitterness?


Ru said...

Personally, I'm pro bitterness. The more bitter people there are in the world, the less wacky I look for being not-so-happy when another friend gets engaged. Seriously, even welfare people manage to get married a time or two before they turn 26.

(Only kind of joking. :) )

Kendra said...

Loved this post.

Andrea J said...

Umm, Merry Christmas? We didn't send you a card, so don't send us one okay?

SkippyMom said...

You nailed those Christmas letters. Spot on. I love reading them tho' - just for the gag factor [you know, you see a car crash and you shouldn't look but you HAVE to sort of thing]

My favorites are my older relatives and neighbors who send the ones detailing their health issues. I am happy they are fine, but really? The colonoscopy report, including number of polyps found is just a wee bit too much information Uncle Billy. [That isn't me trying to be funny. I have, in fact, received THAT letter.]

Best Christmas card [of this genre] this year was from a best friend of my parents and [I kid you not] she signed the card "It is going to be a rough Christmas as our Bob was severely burned last week. He is intensive care."

How do you respond to that?

Anyway I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.