Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Why World Cup?

At this exact moment, I'm sitting in a bizarre little hotel in Annecy, France - which is located in the French Alps. Next to me is Pierre (name has been changed to protect the privacy of my husband). He's asleep because eating ridiculous amounts of croissants and baguettes can cause spontaneous bouts of sleep. On the other side of the wall, is apparently a French man, who either drank a great deal of water or cafes. (The walls are slightly thin...oh, no, I take it back, he is German. Finish man!)

Outside our hotel runs a small canal and an array of shops. At this moment, Switzerland and Spain are playing their first round in the World Cup and I can hear men screaming at the TV in some nearby cafe. I got to admit, I just don't get World Cup. First, it's soccer. Why is this cool to watch for long periods of time? No offense to you soccer lovers, but man, these games are freaking long and MANY end in TIES or DRAWS! No winner? I just watched something for 90 minutes and no one gets to walk away the winner? Can't we at least have a massive knife fight at the end? Last man standing is declared the winner? Now, that is something I think the world would really enjoy watching.

Secondly, what's with the horns? (The plastic long horns people blow at games or to announce royalty.) Apparently, the discussion here in Europe is "Should we get rid of the horns or not?" I think the question to discuss should be, "Why and HOW are these people blowing these for 90 minutes?" I think we should find these people and do studies of their lung capacities. Obviously, these individuals are incredible specimens.

Lastly, what's with grown men laying on the ground, crying out to the heavens in agony and pain, when they are slightly pushed from behind? I think these men are great athletes and then I see them rolling around on the ground behaving like children, and I think, maybe these lads should pursue drama and not soccer. HONESTLY, man up and play some stinkin' soccer.

I know, I just lost all my international readers - all of them in Denmark, you know who you are - but, I'm sorry, after being in France for five days and watching almost every soccer game (it's the only thing that's not French news or badly dubbed American shows) I can't take it anymore. Has the world see UFC? Now, that's a sport.

More to come from France. We are now off to have some raclette...

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