Tuesday, March 16, 2010

My Neighbors Suck

I present to you all a problem...
Recently, I have noticed a series of nicks on the passenger side door of my car. (See evidence to your right) Now, I realize these unfortunate blemishes can be the result of poor parking at the grocery store, or the angry peckings of midgets. However, I fear, since I ride my bike to the grocery store and I haven't offended a midget in a long time, these annoying dents and scratches are actually the result of my neighbor's disregard for my car. How do I know it's my neighbor? Well, first, their driver side door has nicks on it where it would match up to my passenger side door. Secondly, they drive a crappy car and therefore are obviously jealous of my awesome 2005 Honda Accord. (sorry to anyone who drives a PT cruiser.) AND, every time I encounter them in the elevator or outside my car they ignore me. Yeah, ignore!

So, I come to you all for a solution. How can I stop this blatant attack on my car? How can I send a proper neighborly message of: "If you touch my car again I'm going to stab you with a fork?"

And just to add to your suggestions I've come up with a couple of my own:
1. Stealing their bikes. Eye for an eye baby.

2. Starting a conversation with them in the elevator that goes like this, "Man, great weather we are having. Doesn't it just make you want to come clean about destroying someone's car?"

3. Finding an angry midget to peck away at their car.

4. Bash in their front bumper. Oh, wait...(See picture to your left)

Okay it's only four ideas. I need your help. This madness has got to stop.

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