Like Time Through An Hourglass....

So, I have completed another parenting milestone...I've traveled on a plane ALONE with a baby. Yep, high fives all around.  For those of you who don't have children and fly a great deal, do me a favor and next time you are on a flight, just close your eyes and take a quick cat nap.  Just do it.  And when you wake up I want you to crack open a book and read it.  Read twenty pages.  And while you are reading ask the stewardess for a drink AND a snack.  Proceed to eat, drink and read.  When you get tired of these exercises please close your eyes again.  Why am I asking you to do these things?  Because if you ever decide to procreate you will long for those relaxing days of flying. You will long to read some stupid article about some crappy restaurant Southwest airlines has chosen to highlight in their in flight magazine.  You will even miss considering flying to Austin to find this restaurant.  You will miss the idiots who complete the Sudoku puzzles and who write two incorrect answers in smeared black ink in the crossword puzzle you were thinking about attempting, but knowing you would only get the pop culture answers right.  (I mean, I think I've heard of people approaching crossword puzzles that way.)  And you will even miss the boredom you feel from just sitting there waiting to land.  You will miss all of it because once you have a child, time seems to stop on a plane.  Minutes that used to fly, just like the plane you are sitting in, seem to linger and stop for moments of rest. Honestly, I would wrestle my child, show her books, feed her, show her the window for the twentieth time and then I would check my watch and notice that only 1 minute and 18 seconds had passed.  Honestly, were my parents being buried down below as I was stuck in this time warp???!!  Were flying cars actually passing us and was my husband living with his second wife as I was trying to get my child to stop grabbing the hair of my neighbor??!  Come on JetBlue, answer me!

Oh well, the good news was my child didn't have an explosive diaper, throw up all over me or cry out for the entire flight.  The bad news is we fly to Maui in a few months on a direct flight.  That's almost five hours of flying...or sixteen years in baby flight time.