Monday, June 11, 2012

Not Such Good Advice

For the past seven months I have had to endure countless hours of unsolicited advice from new and old parents.  I've been told when to introduce a bottle, how to put them to sleep, what are the best strollers and how to recover the fastest.  Again, I want to stress that I have never, ever, not once, asked, "So, I see you have a two year old - by any chance do you have advice you would be willing to part with?" 

So, today I was waiting on a nice couple, who after serving their food to, asked when I was due.  I used to love this question because it constituted about a 3% increase in my tip, but now I dread it because inevitably it turns into, "When are you going to stop answering my question so I can give you stupid advice?"  So, after quickly getting out "seven months" the proud parents, of a four month old, began giving me their sage advice.  After hearing the merits of a wet nurse during the first three months (yeah, a wet nurse...because I'm secretly the Queen of England) I asked, "So, are you both just sneaking out for a breakfast while the babysitter has your baby?"  And they replied, "NO, OUR BABY IS IN THE CAR."  Yes, you read that right...the car. I immediately thought they were kidding and said, "Well, I hope you at least cracked the window."  To which they responded, "No, she's fine.  She's just sleeping in the car.  That's all they do is sleep." 

Wet nurse huh?  What are you thoughts on baby cruelty and neglect?


Anonymous said...

I hope you wrote down their plate number or got their names so you could report them for cruelty to children.

SkippyMom said...

Holy sh*t! I don't usually get involved but imagine what these parents are going to find a "good idea" further down the road. They need to be taught that their child is not a bag of groceries that can be left in the car. Oh, the stupidity of it all. Wow.

I would definitely had either said something directly to them or at least called the cops. They have a tendency to "frown" on such behavior.

Ru said...

Yikes! People are so dumb.

PS, on a less serious note ... why does no one give parents of non-babies advice ... "Well, your little Mary is about to turn 13, here's alllll I know about raising teenagers." Really, that's where the advice is needed. I think most bipeds can grasp the whole "crying baby = hungry, wet, tired, or sick baby" concept.

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