This is me being literally dragged to Hawaii. Since 1 of my 5 readers threatened to stop following my blog I have decided to check in (yeah, that's right, Meg Schmidt - you are getting a shout out.) I apologize for the absence, but since my last entry, I've been to Hawaii, celebrated Turkey Day and....um, sort of started watching Hart of Dixie. Oh, did I just lose 1 of my five readers? I meant, I've been watching Hawaii 5-0...oh, and all of the sudden, my readership in the midwest and between the ages of 41-to dead has gone drastically up!
Alright, enough of the excuses to the faceless cyber-world, let's get down to it. This past month has been an unusually awkward month for me. Therefore, for the next six entries you are going to get to see the past month through my eyes.
Awkward Situation #1:
After being in Hawaii a little over a week, I returned to work and was asked about 100 times, "Where were you?" by co-workers and my regulars. I finally grew tired of saying, while shrugging my shoulders in the most pathetic attempt at humility, "Um, I was in Hawaii for a week with my husband's family," so I decided to change things up on one unsuspecting customer. The following awkward conversation occurred:
Customer: "So, I came in last week and asked to sit in your section, but they said you were not here."
Kate: "Oh, yeah. It's actually sort of crazy."
Customer: Pushes aside his oatmeal and leans in...
Kate: "My husband just packed my bags, threw me on a plane and forced me to go to Hawaii. It was pretty scary there...but, someone had to do it."
NO EXAGGERATION
Customer: (Slight moment of silence) "Um, Kate, are you okay? Are you still with your husband?"
I got to admit I just don't understand literal people. What kind of world do you all live in? Do you look at people's crotches in disgust when the say, "I literally peed my pants?" Are you enraged when you find out someone didn't die even when they said they literally died when they found something out? And do you truly believe someone gets DRAGGED to Hawaii?
On second thought, was this customer being sarcastic with me? Am I literal person?
7 comments:
Next time you're thinking of treating your dog to something special: Consider buying them one of many customized dog beds that are available out on the market. You can choose from a variety of colors, embroidery options, how hard or soft you want it to be, etc. Just like we all prefer on kind of bed over another -- so do our dogs.
Hey - looks like someone selling dog beds is glad you're back. heehee
And if you ever hear me say "I peed my pants" - for the record? I am being literal. Something to do with my age and the passel of kids I have. [if that was TMI, I apologize]
You are so lucky! What a great vacation - heck, what a wonderful husband. I hope you share more pics.
I literally died of excitement a few weeks ago. I was on a sweet trip to israel where i got to shoot a bunch of guns, throw grenades, go skydiving, and even learn krav maga. This is the company i went with LionOps
I get a shout out and you don't even link to my blog?! What is friendship to you anyways?!
It's California. When I was out there on a B trip for Disney...I threw some sarcasm out there and everyone thought I was being literal. Most Westies (TM) don't get sarcasm.
It's California. When I was out there on a B trip for Disney...I threw some sarcasm out there and everyone thought I was being literal. Most Westies (TM) don't get sarcasm.
now you have 6 followers....meg schmidt's cousin likes this
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