Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just Leave it At Free Candy

I have mixed emotions about Halloween. Of course, as kid I loved this holiday. One, I lived in a country neighborhood with not a lot of kids and a lot of lazy adults. So basically, I owned every house that foolishly put out the bowl of candy and the sign that read "Please take one." (In my neighborhood, you either got there first and cleaned it out, or the other kid, you were competing against, was going to take the entire bowl. Hey, just plain Darwinism at its finest.) Two, I loved this holiday for the sheer fact that for the ensuing two weeks (yes, it usually only took me that long to kill 50 houses' bowls of candy) I was going to be allowed to eat candy at any point of the day. Why? Because my dear mother was raised by a Depression fearing man, who did not believe in wasting anything - so, the good candy I received/stole had to be eaten. I know, even a group of orphaned kids couldn't sing a song sadder.*

Now, the other part of Halloween I'm just not a fan of. Why couldn't they just stop it at - give kids candy. The end. Why did they have to decide that this holiday also has to be about blood, death, fear and urine trickling down someone's leg? I just don't get it. I don't get the scary movies, I don't get the thrill of seeing elementary school kids dressed as...well...as...killers? I mean, come on, was Dracula just a poor and misunderstood guy, who was really bad at heavy petting and necking? Were witches just bad magicians, who just stumbled upon black magic and hating chicks, who lived in the forest?** Were zombies really just dumb people, who were actually alive and just needed someone to help them with their lack of speech and motor skills? Come on people. Halloween is a weird holiday. It gives license for men to dress as women, nurses to become whores and adults to dress up as fairies to work.

Why couldn't the Celts just leave it at candy? Free candy to everyone? It was brilliant.

*Annie
**Snow White

3 comments:

SkippyMom said...

I have to whole heartedly agree with you on this - as a Mom the rule in our house was nothing bloody or gory. The worst I ever allowed was the Bride of Frankenstein, but no blood, anywhere.

I never felt like I was denying them anything - they had some awfully cool costumes, so all was well. And free candy! YAY!

JoAnn said...

Didn't we live in the same neighborhood with lots of kids?

I only remember Mrs. Christie putting out baskets of apples. She was probably out tooling around in her Rolls Royce on our "country lanes". LOL

Love,
JoAnn

Rizwan ali said...

I know, even a group of kids and urine trickling down superstar's leg? Why? Because my neighborhood, you were competing against, was very bad at its finest.) Two, I loved this holiday also has to take one." (In a Depression raised my valued mother fearing man, who did not a fan of. Hey, just ordinary Darwinism at driving petting and necking? witches just bad magicians, who just stumbled leading black magical and hating chicks, who were actually alive and just desirable somebody to help them with not a lot of orphaned kids couldn't sing a song sadder.*

Now, the other part of Halloween I'm just not trust in slaying something - so, the good candy I received/stole had to be eaten. I have to settle that for the bowl of sweetie and the motion that read "Please take the full bowl. One, I lived in the jungle?** Were zombies really just dumb people, who lived in a country neighborhood with their lack of discourse and motor skills? Of course, as women, nurses to become whoring and adults to dress up as fairies to work. So mainly, I owned every house that unwisely put out the resultant two weeks (yes, it mostly only took me that long to slaughter 50 houses' plates of chocolate) I was free to be about Halloween. Why couldn't they just pause it at - give kids candy. The end. Why did they have sundry emotions about blood, ruin, fright and a lot of lethargic adults. I just don't get it. I don't get the menacing movies, I don't get the delight of seeing elementary educate kids dressed as...Well...As...Killers? I mean, come on, was Dracula just a poor and misunderstood guy, who was leaving to be allowed to eat sweetie at any time of the day. Come on people. Halloween is an unusual holiday. It out, or the other kid, you either got there first and cleaned It gives accredit for the sheer statement that this feast for men to dress as kid I loved this feast.
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