I have mixed emotions about Halloween. Of course, as kid I loved this holiday. One, I lived in a country neighborhood with not a lot of kids and a lot of lazy adults. So basically, I owned every house that foolishly put out the bowl of candy and the sign that read "Please take one." (In my neighborhood, you either got there first and cleaned it out, or the other kid, you were competing against, was going to take the entire bowl. Hey, just plain Darwinism at its finest.) Two, I loved this holiday for the sheer fact that for the ensuing two weeks (yes, it usually only took me that long to kill 50 houses' bowls of candy) I was going to be allowed to eat candy at any point of the day. Why? Because my dear mother was raised by a Depression fearing man, who did not believe in wasting anything - so, the good candy I received/stole had to be eaten. I know, even a group of orphaned kids couldn't sing a song sadder.*
Now, the other part of Halloween I'm just not a fan of. Why couldn't they just stop it at - give kids candy. The end. Why did they have to decide that this holiday also has to be about blood, death, fear and urine trickling down someone's leg? I just don't get it. I don't get the scary movies, I don't get the thrill of seeing elementary school kids dressed as...well...as...killers? I mean, come on, was Dracula just a poor and misunderstood guy, who was really bad at heavy petting and necking? Were witches just bad magicians, who just stumbled upon black magic and hating chicks, who lived in the forest?** Were zombies really just dumb people, who were actually alive and just needed someone to help them with their lack of speech and motor skills? Come on people. Halloween is a weird holiday. It gives license for men to dress as women, nurses to become whores and adults to dress up as fairies to work.
Why couldn't the Celts just leave it at candy? Free candy to everyone? It was brilliant.