Mormons Don't Swear

For some reason wherever my husband goes trouble seems to follow.

Last night we had our last lacrosse game of the season against USC. This was already going to be a heated game because the following season they beat us in overtime by one goal, we were coming off a fabulous showing of 17-0 loss against UCSB and, and, and well we were in the hood of LA where heat and violence reigns. (okay, so I couldn't think of a third reason).

Anyway, I had asked Dan to stand behind the goal and take pictures of our seniors. Next to Dan was one of our player's boyfriends, who decided his mission of the game was to make the opposing team's goalie cry. Therefore, every time someone scored, this classy boyfriend would yell out some derogatory comment in regards to her "lack of saving ability." I had noticed this going on, but to be honest, I found it a little funny and wasn't in the mood to make it stop.

Fast forward to the second half and all of the sudden USC starts to come back. Eventually, the score gets to be 10-7 and we haven't even gotten close to scoring for fifteen minutes. Outside of getting too cocky, our offense was having a hard time hearing the plays, and of course, when left on their own our team doesn't display much creativity or initiative. Therefore, I grabbed Dan and told him I needed him to stand behind the goal (inconspicuously of course) and call out our plays. (I would give him a signal (1 finger, 2 fingers etc.) and he would call them out. ) I thought this was full proof.

The first time our girls came trucking down the field I held up two fingers and Dan yelled out, "Bomb!" Immediately, the USC coach screamed that he wanted Dan off his sideline and called for security. He started screaming that Dan was swearing at his goalie and players. I ran over, with the refs, and tried to get the coach to settle down. I kept saying, "He's my husband and...we don't really swear." The USC coach would not listen and a cop had to come over and calm everyone down. I don't know what was the funniest part:
1. Dan being almost kicked out of our lacrosse game for yelling one word.
2. Dan being accused of swearing at a 19 year goalie.
3. Watching the USC goalie try to tell the coach that it wasn't Dan.
4. The game coming to a complete stop.
5. Me trying to convince everyone in a heated moment that Mormons typically aren't allowed to swear due to it being unbecoming and effecting our ability to feel or be susceptible to the spirit.

Anyway, we won the game. Go Waves!