Astronomist

Today, I was standing in line at the post office and out of nowhere this lady turns to me and says, "My wrist keeps making that noise. I don't know if I hurt it, or slept on it wrong, but do you hear that? Last night I heard it and started to scream because I thought someone was in my house." I didn't reply. She continued, "I'm sorry I live alone so whenever I'm in line somewhere I just start talking to whoever will listen." Again, I didn't reply. She then said, "It really hurts to move my bag and my wrist." Now, I started to feel bad and was about to say something when another lady interrupted me and said to the crazy wrist lady, "Do you speak different languages because I speak four languages. Did you know that you can learn different languages by just speaking? That's how I learn them. I also study planets. And I'm an astronomist." (I swear on all that's good in the world she said "astronomist" not astronomer.)

For the next five minutes these two competed at who could craze out the other. Wrist lady would play her go to card of living alone and thinking someone was out to get her and the astronomist would come back with explaining how French men know how to please women. That can't be beat. Finally, at the end they parted, and I hate to say it, but wrist lady got owned. I have never heard someone bounce around on more topics than wrist lady's nemesis did in five minutes. She talked about the importance of voting, how chanting can calm your soul, how the planets are realigning because Mrs. Obama is a Capricorn (again, swearing on all sugar plums, puppies and warm chocolate chip cookies that she really said those things.)

It was fantastic to see a crazy totally get one upped by an even crazier person. I love Santa Monica.