Friday, September 5, 2008

Stop the Judging

I absolutely hate going to the dentist - and it's not because of the usual reasons. Sure, I hate the constant questions you are asked while someone has their hand in your mouth. (I never know if I should answer and almost bite their hand, or just be really expressive with my eyebrows.) And of course, who enjoys all the different metal scrappers they use to pick your teeth apart? Which by the way, what's the difference between all those instruments? All are sharp, all have little grips and all inflict horrible pain. EMad, feel free to answer that question. And lastly, of course, I hate the flossing at the end of the visit. Maybe it's just me, but I swear that floss is laced with broken glass.

No, all these things bother me, but the real reason I despise the dentist's office is the JUDGING. For six months, I brush twice a day, floss at night and wear my retainers before special occasions (I like when my teeth look straight for pictures;)) and yet, it never seems enough. Inevitably, I always have to endure this type of interrogation:

Overly Enthusiastic Hygienist: Do you floss?
Kate: Yes, pretty much every night.
Overly Enthusiastic Hygienist: Are you sure you are flossing correctly?
Kate: Yes, I go through this every time. I just have a lot of tartar.
Overly Enthusiastic Hygienist: How do you brush?
Kate: (The answer Kate wants to give) With a toothbrush. (The answer Kate actually gives) I have a Sonicare.
Overly Enthusiastic Hygienist: Hmm...I want to show you this cute little replica of some teeth.
(Overly Enthusiastic Hygienist begins to pretend to brush on fake teeth)
(Kate nods)

I think next time I go to the dentist I'm going to eat an everything bagel with lots of cream cheese and tell them I just flossed before I came.

1 comment:

bfsoul said...

Where did you get that picture?! It will give me, the ultimate dental phobic, nightmares!!!! XO Mom